My brother says I would be pulling a dick move if I tell her this?

I like my friend. We hang out regularly. We also work together.

Our friendship began when I asked her out three months ago. At the end of the night, she refereed to it as a, "hang out". I guess she didn't think of it as a date. I would later find out she had recently, as of that first hang out, gotten out of a relationship and so didn't want one.

I wanted to give her her space and time. Be her friend and earn her trust, and hopefully, she would notice me as more than just a friend.

However, a sizable portion of my hope was dashed when she told me that she had, "... a small crush," on one of our co-workers.

I told my brother about this and he said that it would be best to not get my hopes up. Seeing his point, I figured it was okay for me to have interest in other girls.

There are a lot of cute girls that come into my work. Mostly college students. There is this one Asian girl that comes in occasionally. It's honest to say that I have a small crush on her.

I told my brother about this Asian girl. I also told him that if my friend can tell me about small crushes she has, then I suppose I can tell her about mine. He said: "Don't tell her stuff like that 'cause it's kind of a dick move."

I am perplexed by this. Is he right? Would I self-negate all chances with my friend if I told her such things? I mean, my friend is my top priority because she stands out to me in a special way, but I don't want to be led on or ruin our friendship by me expressing my feelings for her.

I just don't know what to do, really.

Any advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It does sound like you want to tell her because she has confessed to having a small crush on someone else. I think if I were in your shoes i would hold back I have a feeling she might have told you this because she might have wanted a reaction out of you. I'm not saying she doesn't kind of like the other guy, just that she wanted to see what you would say or do when she told you about her crush. Play it cool though there is no reason to tell her about your crush because it sounds like you like if you had your way you would already be dating this girl. Don't ruin it with telling her about your crush, then she might really think you aren't interested and go on like friendship is all you ever hope to accomplish.

    • If she wanted a reaction out of me, I guess I missed the cue. Perhaps even played it too cool. I didn't want to show my cards out of fear, but maybe I should have. Maybe been like: "Oh..." As opposed to: "Oh."

    • Show All
    • Hey. I guess it didn't go the way I had hoped. She likes someone else and that's okay, but I just wish someone liked me back for once. Oh well. I'm glad she's my friend, at least. I know I sound selfish, but I'm just so yearning to know love. Thanks for your advice, though.

    • I''m sorry man. we are all still so young and I'm in the same boat as you, some guys just suck and I wish I could find a good one... you know sometimes you just wish you could skip over all that and just get to the person you were meant to be with, but life keeps it interesting for us. Keep your head up, you never know when you'll find that someone your looking for

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • it depends on WHY you wanna tell her this. Ask yourself, "i want to tell her this so we can open a new wing in our friendship where we can talk about sex and relationships as friends" or "i want to tell her this for selfish reasons, maybe to make her jealous, or to make her sse that i feel attracted to other girls, not just her" and so on.

    • I'd want to tell her this because I feel we're comfortable talking about our lives with each other. Making her jealous isn't something I'd like to do because it sounds like a dirty tactic. I'm one of those people who doesn't like to initiate or part-take in mind games.

What Guys Said 3

  • "Would I self-negate all chances with my friend if I told her such things?"

    Who says you have a chance at all with her? You may be stuck in the "friendzone" forever with her. Might as well explore other options, she obviously is.

    • Hmm, that does make sense. It's all just so tricky.

    • Only as tricky as you make it. :) If you move on, she'll either come back to you or not.

  • (ok im a bit scatter brained here too much to say and no order to put it in.)
    1.) your thinking too black and white logic only works when it doesn't need to
    2.) if she didn't tell you who it is it might just be you so telling her you have a crush and defining he crush by name might shut that down before it even starts up
    3.) I don't know if he is right (in reference to " Is he right?")
    4.) she said a small crush not a head over heels crush
    5.) put yourself out there a bit, let her see you as a sexual figure instead of a social outlet (dont be shy when it comes to involving sex in a conversations)

    • Yeah, I've never tried to pursue anyone before. This is all new to me. I'm walking in the dark with a flashlight in one hand and the wrong sized batteries in the other. She gave me a name. He's a really cool guy.

    • (nice analogy i like i)
      its always new to everyone once in their life, just go at a pace you deem comfortable

  • The birth of anyone who even says "a dick move" was a dick move in itself.