Relationships take work?

My boyfriend doesn't think that relationship takes a lot of work.. He says it has to be natural. He said he's never argued this much with a gf. But also, I'm the first person he wants to move in with. And now he's sayin that he's not happy because of one blow up we had. Help please


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well if thats enough to make him leave well, there is good possibility his standards of reality are that of his imagination because Arguments are healthy in a relationship as long as its not all you do is argue.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Love is only a small portion of a relationship. You have to work at it to make it last. When a couples been together for 20 years they know everything about each other. So they have to work at their relationship to keep it alive errbody know that.

    • I'm trying to get that through to him and he thinks that it's BS... I told him, you never argued with ur exes but one left you for no reason after three years and one you didn't even mention love or moving in even after almost being together for a year.. We have only been together for four months and like I said before, he wants to move in and told me he loved me in three weeks. I'm really trying to think positive

    • If thinks you dont have to work at relationships then sorry to say but it probably won't work.

What Girls Said 1

  • Ugh. I totally just wrote out this long elaborate answer. (>_<) Uno Momento Por Favor. I don't know where it went...

    • Relationships are work, yes. Perhaps his past relationships consisted of women that were codependent and didn't really put their foot down or speak up in disagreement.
      A relationship will push you and your partner to better yourselves and that growing comes from disagreements that resolve with understanding, communication and love.
      If he is interested in moving in with you then he needs to fully understand that what may present as a "blow up" or and argument is not necessarily that but it is an opportunity to understand one another more. Through understanding you both will both will not just excel in personal growth but as a unit.
      Respect. Communication. Love.

    • I need to get that through to him.. I'm trying to find the best cause when I tried.. He thinks that it's BS

    • My ex thought that too and I finally got fed up with him not knowing how to communicate with me. It is funny how people that are so willing to sweep things under the rug and act like pressing issues are not really important but when things finally escalate to an "argument" of sorts - they act like a deer in head lights as if it has always been --- all good ---.

      Please don't move in with him if he doesn't understand the importance of communication.

      My ex called me less than a month later and told me he finally understood.