What can I do to get him to change?

My bf and I have been dating for 6 months, he is 25 and i'm 21.

Everything was going great in the beginning but he has recently changed.

He doesn't call or text me anymore as much. I'll go hours without even hearing a word from him. Or sometimes will be talking & he won't respond until the nxt day. Or i'll tell him to call me again & he doesnt.

I have asked him what's the matter he says he just forgets or that he is tired of work. But he can't always forget & people dnt always work late until 10 everyday.

I deal with all of this by staying calm & not even asking or getting angry at him. But I'm seriously tired of his behavior. And I dnt know what to do anymore. I have already tried talking, getting angry, & now staying calm.

What do i do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, you CANNOT change him. Second of all, nagging him to call you makes him do the opposite. Third, constantly asking him 'what's wrong?' will not work. He will do exactly what he is doing... retreat. You actually already know what's wrong. You just don't like the answer. So the best thing to do is... nothing. That's right. NOTHING. You have already let him know you are concerned. Live your life. Party with your friends. And tell him, that his behavior is not beneficial to your relationship. That when he is ready to have a conversation, to call you. And DO NOT contact him. Then one of two things will happen. He will call you when he is ready. OR he won't because the relationship has run its course. It may hurt. But that is part of what happens in life. And trust me, you will heal. A smart woman ALWAYS has her own life and does not sit around waiting for a guy to do what she wants. Good luck.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It's good that you stay calm


What Girls Said 2

  • honestly, it sounds like he's not really into the steady relationship thing. If you've already talked about your needs in the relationship, and if he isn't meeting them still, i'd say talk to him one more time and explain how you don't know how things can continue to work if he isn't putting in an effort... or just dump him!

  • It's good that you stay calm, and to be honest it sounds like he's playing a bit of a mind game with you! I would just play him at his own game, and be too busy to talk youself! he will be wondering why your so busy, doing what... yada yada and hopefuly pay more attention to you. And if things don't improve, then I would just leave it as he might just be typical jerk! :)