So he stopped calling/texting/emailing ...I know I gotta get over him...but how?!

It's so hard! :( I came to the realization that after 7 days of no contact and ignoring an email I sent yesterday that this guy is most likely over me or got caught up with another lady friend. I don't wanna waste anymore energy on this guy; he's broken my heart before and I'm just done. But now what?! I feel so lost...words of encouragement maybe? I'd really appreciate it : )


Most Helpful Girl

  • ug! why do they DO that? I met a guy 2 months ago- we texted/emailed/called everyday (day/night/weekends- he def is not married, at least)- for a month- both of us initiating communication so it wasn't one sided. he seemed very together and told me how he like me alot- thought about me alot- we spent some time together- which was mutually terrific (per him)!.. then one day he stopped calling/responding to my calls. After a few days I sent him an email telling him I assumed he needed space so I was going to back off. no response. 3 days later, after feeling sick the whole week from missing our convo's, I called to leave a voicemail that I wasn't going to reach out to him anymore & that he could contact me if he wanted...but he answered! He told me a family member was unwell and his father was spending every waking moment glued to him while they traveled to visit the relative when he wasn't working (his dad was also staying @ his house from out of state). He told me he thought of me alot.. and was very emphatic that he liked me and the last thing he wanted was to make me feel like he was blowing me off- even his friends were calling to wonder if he's still alive... We talked for over an hour and I felt really good. then after we hung up, he texted me a smiley and "xo".. it made me feel so much better.. we had a few more text exchanges in the next few days - last one he was going to let me know when he was done work so we could talk.. but I never heard from him again. It's now been a week. with no contact.. I've seen him log into Facebook chat and did everything I could not to initiate a chat... my girl friends are livid and are forming a hate mob. my guy friends are laughing at me and saying a week is nothing.. to give it a month, then move on because he has. Well what the hell? He didn't seem like the kind of guy who would houdini w.o saying something, but these posts are right- w.all the ways there are to stay in contact, it's kind of unacceptable, when you claim to care, not to at least say/text/email/post, "i'm still alive.. it's a tough time.. will contact you when I'm in a better place..." .. or to at least let a person know you've lsot interest. It's super tough and sad, but I've found writing out what I want to say is very helpful. supportive friends who remind you to leave him alone, also good... don't want to feel even worse when he doesn't respond! also, found a site that had some excellent suggestions- there is a list of 10 things to help you get over it- I took the list and wrote out how I will accomplish each point.. it's made me feel 1000% better-- (especially when I lose that clarity, I can re-read it) and reading a lot of other people's expereince helps to remind me it's not me - it's him w.the issue... good luck.. hope you feel better soon. here's the site:

    link (p.s.- it is a commercial site, but the info is good- I didn't buy the book- there is enough community stuff on teh web to get you by...)

    • I'm in that boat right now. I'm doing my best to leave him alone I think I have looked at everything to get over him. It's sooo frustrating. We talked for two months straight everyday and then he talked to his one girl at my party and now pretty much has dropped me. He only talks to me to tell me he's going to return something, then leaves it at that. I'm sooo hurt right now, and you know what sux is I get it rubbed in my face every sunday and thursday when they are together. I hate it! :(

    • Wow...i can't believe I took so long to read your post. thanks for your encouraging words. It's been a while since I've even thought about that guy lol. I've totally moved on and I've just recently started dating a really great guy. I was chasing after a guy that didn't want anything to do with me ...looking back on it, I smile at how silly I was being. He wasn't the right guy for me and I've accepted that ages ago. Time really does heal a broken heart if you let it.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You'll find better.

    Not today, not tomorrow.

    But one day, when you're not looking, you will find better.

    And it will make all this mess worth it.

    • Thank actually made me cry just then lol but thanks still.

    • Well, as long as it made you happy.

      I sort of feel bad now.

    • Don't feel bad, I had to tear up because after reading your answer...well, it's like when you're upset about a situation already and then someone comes along and 'pats you on the back' so to speak? It makes it hurt a little more? That's what happened there. It's just that I really put myself out there for this guy and we were getting along swimmingly for over a year now and then he drops me like a hot skillet all of a sudden...I don't get why men do this as if we don't have feelings. It hurts :(

  • You'll definitely find better. Just don't go out and look for it. Keep your mind on something else (i.e. hobby, work, etc.) and it will come naturally.


What Girls Said 4

  • I was just wondering if the guy ever called you back and how you're doing now? I am going through the same situation now with someone I've been with for over 2 yrs. He just stopped calling and I don't know why. I am so angry.

    • Nope...I haven't heard anything from him in a few months now and to be honest, it's not eating away at me anymore. He wasn't my bf, but that didn't stop me from loving him so yeah it's still a little hard. But I'm ok for the most part now. I still miss his company, and talking with him and all that gushy stuff lol but I've got my friends and family and hobbies keeping me busy. It's true what they say, time heals everything. You'll be okay :)

  • some do not care enough for our feelings, and I think we should just act like them, why should we care, when they just treat us the way they please. hope you are better by now!

  • I know it's hard it's happened to me. but try to go out with friends (: it helps alot.

  • I know what you mean. I'm going through the same thing with my boyfriend of 4 years. He just suddenly stop communication with me for about a week now. Not sure what to do about it either. I'm beginning to move on and it's heard. Sorry you are going through that.