Dating an atheist guy?

We were playing the spin the bottle game and I had to kiss a guy. Everything was cool until we started talking about religion and he told me he was an atheist. I saw him the next day and we hungout most of the day. He is a really sweet, funny, and respectful guy. I'm very confused about the kiss, I think he started to like me too. I don't know if I should continue going out with him. I'm a Catholic girl and God is very important to me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It'll depend on what kind of atheist he is. Us atheists all have different reasons for it, so hope he isn't the anti-theist type. If he is and you do value your religion, you will absolutely not get along with him in the long term (like me and my parents :/). Just be friends.

    From experience, Catholics aren't creationists, so that's not an issue. But in case you are, atheists have a very negative attitude towards creationism and pseudoscience. Just a warning.

    The only other problem I can think of is how you intend to raise your children (yes, we're looking this far ahead now). You may want to raise them catholic but more than likely, he won't want to impose religion on them. Again, it will depend on what kind of atheist he is.

    Otherwise, I don't believe there should be any problems as long as you don't let religion run his life. If you're able to separate religion from your relationship and potential family, then you should have a perfectly happy and healthy life and relationship with him.

    And for a bit of background, I'm an agnostic atheist (converted from Catholicism).


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • Well, listening to some music together is probably a good start:

    First, some quotes about beliefs and opinions:

    “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
    ― Oscar Wilde

    “Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social enviroment. Most people are incapable of forming such opinions." (Essay to Leo Baeck, 1953)
    ― Albert Einstein

    “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.”
    ― Ashleigh Brilliant

    “All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

    Second, on faith:

    "Pisteve' ke min ere'vna" - Jesus Christ (translation: believe without questioning, examining, or investigating)

    “Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche

    “Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”
    ― Voltaire

    “Faith consists in believing what reason cannot.”
    ― Voltaire, The Works: Voltaire

    “If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”
    ― Voltaire

    “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
    ― Christopher Hitchens

    “All thinking men are atheists.”
    ― Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

    “Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut

    “I have observed, indeed, generally, that while in protestant countries the defections from the Platonic Christianity of the priests is to Deism, in catholic countries they are to Atheism. Diderot, D'Alembert, D’Holbach, Condorcet, are known to have been among the most virtuous of men. Their virtue, then, must have had some other foundation than the love of God."
    - Thomas Jefferson

    • Plus, besides, you would never feel comfortable being submissive to him.. because in the words of a great religious man..

      “No woman wants to be in submission to a man who isn't in submission to God!”
      ― T. D. Jakes

      "No woman," okay? Absolutely none! Not even the atheist ones lol

  • Well no offense but you're going to have to decide who / what is more important. A guy you like and who seems to like you and is a good person, or a religion that's more or less a mindset and attitude you've adopted.

    Just because someone is Atheist doesn't make them a bad person. Whatever you do though, DON'T try to convert him.

  • One should judge a person from how he behaves and what is his thought process.
    A person should respect others religion and if someone believes in God he should not have objection to it.
    Many atheist do not believe in God but they believe that they themselves have the power to change things and as human we should respect, care for others and help the world to move forward.
    If this guy has got the basic qualities which a religion teaches and still he is an atheist there should not be much issue with going out with him.
    If you like him and he is a good guy my suggestion will be to go for him. :)

  • Maybe instead of GOD he believes in making women happy.
    What's the worse it could happen if you date a guy like that? Believing in God for him is just as strange as for you it is not to believe. You dream of marriage and you're afraid an atheist man wouldn't marry you in church?
    Respect each others beliefs and you will be fine.

    Religion has done and still does a lot of harm to the world.

  • Well dating him isn't bad just make sure to settle out what beliefs you want to pass onto your children if you two get to that point.

  • As an athiest I would say just let it go.

  • God is important to you but is nothing to him
    This will only be a problem if you want it to be
    As long as you get along well and respect each others thoughts and beliefs, there should be no problem.

  • lol. stop going out with him.. he's the Devil!!!

  • Of course you shouldn't date. You're fundamentally incompatible

  • It depends on what type of atheist he is. Some atheists start to get angry at everyone trying to converting them, or claiming they don't have morals without God. I am an atheist and I get judged a lot for it, so it really does happen. When they get angry enough they start to become anti religion. If he is that kind of atheist it could be a problem.

    Other atheists are just like anyone else, except they just don't believe in God. They don't actually have a problem with religion. As long as you don't try to convert this type of atheist there wouldn't be any problem. You can't ask for someone to believe in something. Either they believe, or they don't. They can't make themselves believe.

  • Well as an atheist myself I think I would get jealous if I was with a religious girl because I'd love her and she'd love god more than me. Love triangles are never good.

  • As an Evangelical Christian i believe that the bible says that a Christians ideally pair with other Christians and pairing with a non believe is not ideal.

    Consider your directions, what does he aim for? -Family? Children? Wealth? Fame? Pleasure? What is his perceived destination toward which he will strive and desire?

    ... the direction of a Christian is an eternity spent with God praising and serving him


What Girls Said 3

  • You can go out with him, but only if you respect each other's beliefs. eg. he shouldn't mock you for going to the church, and you shouldn't scold him for his lack of faith. try to go out with him, and see if you can discuss politely about this, or just not to mention it.

  • I'm in the opposite situation. I am atheist and my boyfriend is a devout Christian. I told him about my non-beliefs from the get-go. He initially assumed that I still believed in god. He even said later in life I'd change my mind. I told him no. I don't believe nor care for any gods. Even if any gods were to be real, I wouldn't change my life or begin worshiping them. I'm apatheist.
    It does seem to bother his family a little because I force him to think for himself. I'm not saying all Christians can't think for themselves, but he didn't that much. When I asked him questions, it was annoying to hear "well the bible says," or "my pastor said," Basically, I told him I give a rat's ass what the bible or a pastor says, I wan't to hear what HE thinks, what HE feels, etc. I told him I'm not dating the bible, I'm not dating his pastor, I'm not asking the bible, I'm not asking his pastor, I want to know what HE thinks. So now he talks more about what he actually thinks, which to me is very nice. But his family doesn't agree as much. To religious people, I guess it doesn't look as bad to constantly quote the bible or their religion, but it gets a little bothersome when I try to know exactly what the individual thinks, not what he's told to think. I understand that some people center their lives around religion, but you should still be able to think critically and independently. Be part of your group, but retain some individuality. (And no, NOT ALL RELIGIOUS PEOPLE ARE LIKE THIS, I'm speaking about my bf, and a few devout religious people I came across as well.)
    We don't really get into religious arguments, just debates. We challenge each other's thoughts and ideas and force each other to think and view other's perspectives. So far it seems to work. We respect each other and don't judge. Do what you think is best and good luck :)


  • Just think about the long term - Do you want a man to attend church with you and your family? Do you want your children to go to church one day - does he want the kids to have the option? Do you have the desire to celebrate religious holidays?

    Personally, I don't see the point in dating someone if there is no long term potential.
    If any of these questions above result in disagreements between you and the guy - then you should strongly consider your choice and what the future may hold.

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