I asked him if he had good intentions?

I'm seeing a guy again after we broke it off about nine months ago because he had commitment issues left over from a previous long term relationship. we've seen each other three times now, he called me quite a few times during the summer and that's how we got in touch, I finally decided to call him back. everything has been really good, but we haven't had a talk about what we are. I feel like he must know I want a relationship, as that's what I wanted before and the reason things got all screwed up between us, he wasn't ready. He's been very gentlemanly I would say, and even though we have had sex, he doesn't push it and didn't push it when the first time we saw each other I didn't want to. the first time we hung out he told me he likes me (kind of knew that already, he'd been calling all summer) when I asked him what he wanted from me he said he didn't know, which is actually different from the past where he mostly specified very specifically that he did not want a relationship. We've hung out during the day in a park, and been out to dinner twice, after both of those times we did have sex and I stayed over. Last night was the third time we hung out, and I asked him I think twice about whether he had good intentions and he said he did. I hope he wasn't just trying to appease me because that's usually not his style, and he has been clear in the past about not wanting to "hurt me" and whatever when he wasn't ready. So I'm not sure what to make of things, they seem to be going well, but can anyone give me a better read on how things sound? I really want to move toward something committed, but I'm scared to have that talk with him even though we've been having such a great time together.

  • he sounds like he wants a relationship
    Vote A
  • he sounds like he's probably still not ready
    Vote B
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if you vote I would really appreciate an explanation
I really wonder why he would try to come back into my life knowing very well what I want if he doesn't want to try for that? things ended badly, i don't know why he'd want that to happen again if he didn't want to at least compromise in some way.


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What Guys Said 1

  • When he said that he doesn't know exactly what he wants it means that he is opening up to a committed relationship, but isn't perfectly ready for it. Things sound like they are going great for you two. Give him a little more time to come to terms before you talk about a relationship. He is most likely not dating anyone else but you. Consequently there is no need to put pressure on him for a relationship. As a previously stated, he needs a little more time. Best of luck!

    • he's really busy and sometimes I wonder about that, if he's trying to kind of keep me at a distance? he does have a full time job and is in two bands, so I know he is busy, but we've only been seeing each other like once a week. I'm trying to be as laid back about it as possible (which I think he is noticing and appreciates) because last time we were seeing each other he thought I got kind of codependent.

    • I know how you feel, that's how it was with my last relationship. He most likely isn't trying to keep you at a distance at all. He may have a little spare time, but he might need it to be alone and to relax. However, if you want to do more things with him, you two should plan ahead times to do things together or just to see each other. Just bring it up casually with him. Make sure that you're not thinking or worrying about it too much. If you two are important to each other, then it will all work out.

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