How do I know if he wants a relationship?

We've seen each other about three times now after things ended like 9 months ago because he had commitment issues (just ended his first ever very very long term relationship). everything we've seen each other it;s been great, but after the second time when he said a few weird things at the end going i'll call you, you call me, i'll call you... I waited a week and then called him instead of just waiting longer for him to call me. he was definitely happy to hear from me and we made a plan for that night. we went out to dinner and everything was going really well, he was being incredibly nice and romantic (but in genuine ways, not tacky player type talk). I even noticed this picture I gave him was still up in his room, despite how badly things had gone down when we ended things. we had sex, but I didn't feel pressured into it at all, it felt entirely mutual. he stared at me for a long while and then told me "you really are so beautiful" I was sooo flattered by this, it sounded so real. we talked for hours before we fell asleep. I got up to leave this morning and decided to just ask if he was free this weekend, he said he was probably going to be too busy (he works a full time job and is in two bands) so I said ok, call me, and he gave me a big long hug good bye and I kissed him on the cheek before I left. I know he likes me, it's obvious and he has told me so, but when I've asked him what he wants from me he says he doesn't know. when I asked that same question like a year ago before things ended he would usually make it clear that a relationship just couldn't happen at that point. so I'm just wondering, is he ready now? by the way he called all summer before I responded to his calls, and he has done all of the initiating aside from last night I was the one to give him the call to hang out, my friends told me they thought he sounded like he wanted reassurance that I was into it.

  • relationship
    Vote A
  • not feeling a relationship
    Vote B
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I don't know why he'd come back into my life to try to do something that clearly didn't work for either of us before. one of the things that ended it was he got jealous of seeing me with another guy, but we weren't even exclusive!
this is sos frustrating I just wish he would just tell me straight up


Most Helpful Girl

  • Be honest with him and tell him what you want and demand to know where you stand. You deserve thst

    • I feel like it might be too early for that? I don't want to ruin what we have

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If he wants a relationship, he'll make it clear to you by not being afraid to make certain kinds of noticeable courtship with you. If he doesn't make it official within after maybe around 5-6 months then forget about it if he shuns it away if you're still hinting at the facts at that point of you're going to try againnnn.

    But he'll make it obvious. And ask you, or tell you, basically, he'll be vocal with you about his heart.

    • does it sound like from what happens so far that a relationship could be what he wants?

What Girls Said 1

  • Well not much has changed for you right? You still want a relationship and not a hook up buddy so I'd say wait a couple of weeks and if he backs off and then comes back looking for your company again just let him know straight up, "I enjoy your company but right now I am looking for something meaningful if you can get on board cool, if not then this is not going to work for me." You wants and needs matter just as much as his do.

    • Plus itll probably save you a lot of time wondering and thinking about the what ifs

    • I do want to just straight up ask him, but I don't want to act demanding either, I am right now just trying to read from his behavior what it sounds like he wants?