Mild trust issues after how many stories I have read on the internet about girls leading guys on?

I haven't gone on a single date in my life, BUT:

I have read thousands, maybe even tens of thousands of similar stories [of girls leading guys on] over the past few years (since my first crush), throughout all age ranges, from early teens to middle ages like here. Actually, a more common variation is when girls use guys for attention and play hot and cold games and then drop him or not even bother with the latter and just get him to fall ridiculously hard and then BAM! I think that's supposed to be the girl's version of "pump and dump". I am talking about some version of a girl leading a guy on and then dropping him after a few weeks, or even girls who show interest and then the second you ask them out, they turn cold. I have read tens of thousands of those kind of stories over the past 3.5 years. I haven't even had a girl show interest for heaven's sake.

What is alarming is that the girl's who do these kind of things - I am their primary target. I am insecure, desperate, inexperienced, and emotionally weak. Easy. That's why Sure, everyone runs this risk, but I am at a much larger one than normal, AND it will hurt that much more because remember, finding a girl who's interested will at least feel much more rare than for the average man because of my race and height.

I don't know if I will be able to trust a girl anymore. Not to mention, all the stories I have read of girls randomly leaving their boyfriends after 3 to 5 years for someone else even after a near-perfect relationship.

I don't know man... I have always wanted a romantic relationship, but because my social skills and emotional strength is subpar, and I am not physically attractive, and how much girls hurt guys... maybe I should just decide to be alone and avoid heartbreak... then again, I DO want to experience romance, so...

Ugh... I don't know...

Honestly, getting a girlfriend, is feeling like it's going to be this:

And I haven't even started driving on that road yet, but no matter how much you drive, you won't get there.
Excerpt taken from this thread:


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah. Some women do that. But not all. You can't know if you believe every story you hear and you are too afraid to approach girls.

    Also women do get lead on by guys too. How they tell you nice things and say you are pretty, then after kissing or sex they disappear.

    • Actually, I am not. I have asked out 3 girls since late August.

    • Well thats good. You got the confidence!
      You shouldn't be too worried about girls leading you on. I think that most girls don't do that.

Most Helpful Guy

  • No one can lead you on without your permission. So you need to approach women this way:

    1) Never be friends with a woman you're attracted to.

    2) Never give more than you're getting from a woman in a relationship.

    3) Understand that women have an innate desire to be with a man who can provide strength and security. They don't dump guys maliciously for better choices. It's in their genes. So your goal should be to never be the guy who slows down. Always be better than her.

    4) Never put a woman on a pedestal. she's a person, not a statue.

    5) Always have a backup plan.

    • Number 3 is the problem. I want to slow down and get the relationship solidified.

      Also, sometimes girls lead guys on on purpose. Like they actually show romantic interest on purpose and then they're gone the next day. Girls' version of the "pump and dump".

    • Show All
    • Actually, I am saving myself until marriage.

    • Regardless, then.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • But what's your other option? If you don't ever try? I saw that you've asked out three women, that's great! That's honestky the first and hardest step. Getting enough courage to even talk to women and ask them out in a huge thing. And I've read so many questions where guys can't it won't do that.
    Just keep doing what you're doing, and slowly you will find out what works for you, no one can really tell you what will, we don't know you in person. Just keep going. Don't give up. It's fine to go slow with girls. Pick girls who aren't the super flashy girls who care about status snd such. And you'll have s good chance with them :)

    • If you have the time, can you visit the link I gave in the update and if anything, read my major posts on the last page, and if you want even make an account there and give me some advice, or say what you have to say here?

    • Also, almost all guys ask girls out. That's nothing. Besides, none of the girls I have asked out have ever shown interest, so it's not like the rejections actually hurt.

      Real rejection is when you think they like you and then you get turned down.

What Guys Said 1

  • Welcome to the club!

    This has happened to me as well, so i gave up on women more than 4 years ago.

    There IS a sure-fire way to attract girls. Just become a complete asshole and treat girls like crap, and you'll be surprised that they'll desire you more for being an shoeless. Its a myth that 'Nice guys finish last'. The truth is, nice guys don't finish at all. They get knocked out of the race somewhere in between by the assholes who don't have an ounce of respect for women.

    I didn't want to become an asshole just to attract women, so i gave up on them. If you want girls, then become (or at least pretend) to be a douchebag. Its a foolproof recipe for success with girls.

    • Well at least you are basing this on real-life experience. Me on the other hand, I haven't even gone on a date and am basing this off of what I read over the years, which is really pathetic.

    • I feel you should not give up so soon, because you're not even an adult yet. I was 24 when i gave up. And there ARE some genuine girls out there who aren't part of this 'nasty pack of female wolves' who lead guys on. If you're lucky, you can find a girl who's genuine.

    • But man, I just suck at interpersonal relationships. Downright. Visit this thread for more information. I actually got this excerpt from that thread:

      This excerpt is on the last page.