I'm always hesitant to mention it if it comes up. I don't consider myself to have "daddy issues" I have a great mother who really acted as both parents I just feel like that's the impression guys get if I tell them I didn't really have a close relationship with my father. Thoughts?
Most Helpful Guy
Well, I'm a guy with daddy issues, and as much as we like to poke fun at daddy issues, or feelings and emotions in general, all of those things are very real, and have a very real effect on a person's psychology and behavior.
For example, my father was a loser. I'm not proud to admit it, because after all, he's my father. He wasn't a bad person, he didn't have bad intentions, he was just lazy and always looking to use other people to make money for himself and looking for the easy (and not always legal) way out of life's problems. When he was faced with a problem, he would distract himself with something else, he would avoid dealing with the problem, until problem after problem piled on, and he tore the family apart.
Growing up with him, I realized the kind of person he was, I was ashamed to call him my father of have people associate him with me, so I ended up spending the rest of my life overcompensating and trying to make my own self-identity as far apart from his identity.
Women experience daddy issues differently, because the same way the way my mother was isn't a reflection of "who I am," (because I'm not female), the same way "who her father was" is not a reflection of "who she is." But, it does affect her relationships with men.
For example, my mother was very blunt about how we had to be as "men." We had to pay. We had to provide. A man without money is a loser, like your father. A man is supposed to work and a woman is supposed to stay at home like a princess and do nothing but be taken care of by her man. All of that influences you, and another take-away I had as a child is that I definitely didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone like my mother.
So, the take-away is that there's no such thing as a "catch-all" category of "daddy issues." Each parental issue is different. The "reason" for your bad relationship with your father is more important than the "conclusion" that you "have a bad relationship with your father.1