Is it sometimes bad NOT to make a move?

So I just went on a date with someone I met online whom I chatted through texts with. There, we got along well enough. -But on our date, she didn't have much time so she was a bit rushed. We went to a coffee shop and talked about all sorts of things. She told me a lot about herself and in return I told her some things about me. -And then she had to go.

I texted her the 2 days later cuz I hadn't heard back from her and she says "I don't think there's anything there."

Which is fine, I'm not looking for anything serious anyway, but even though she knew that, it's almost as if she was looking for something anyway. She says "I want someone to relate to." I feel as if she was a bit reserved even though open with her words. So of course I didn't want to do anything silly like touch her hand or try to flirt in the loud room (would have been awkward), I thought it seemed a bit out of place.

Although I tried to change the venue, I asked if she wanted to go for a walk, she declined.

Now it seems she avoids me. So long, goodbye, whatever, it's fine. -But should I have made some sort of attempt to show interest beyond conversation even though it appeared it wouldn't have been well received?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes the spark just isn't there.
    It doesn't mean either of you did anything wrong.
    Chances are, if you had done something like that, she would've rejected that as well.
    She just wasn't that into you.

    • She was just kind of rude about it though. Just losing contact out of nowhere and not answering calls or texts, then finally out bursting at me as if I had done something wrong. Women go silent all the time for all kinds of reasons so It'd be wrong of me to automatically assume if they don't answer me right away, they aren't interested. -But she assumed I was already supposed to know that.

      Too complicated. I'd rather know whats happening to my time and effort than to guess, regardless of the context.

    • Show All
    • She said I'm glad I didn't meet you because how you would toss me aside like that just because I found a boyfriend. I'm glad too, I've only known her for a day and she's already managed to disappoint me, so I could care less what she thinks about me. Not like I'll ever benefit from knowing her, so I'll let her believe she met a jerk.

      Well, I guess you can't make everybody happy and no matter how kind and courteous you are you can't expect others to be the same. People just tend to find whatever's the opposite of what it is I'm trying to do. Thanks for talking it out with me. I've been waiting on an opinion on this question for a few days now.

      Also, you're welcome.

    • Yeah, it does sometimes feel like everyone's on a different wavelength than me too, haha! I feel you.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • Either what Sparrow24 said, or that she is very new to dating flirting and just read online that you should act like you dont care to make the buy crazy. And trying to pull that off in a bad way. Anyways. You can just ask her. She will be honest. And you dont hve anything to lose do you?