How do I get my crush to have the courage to leave the relationship he's in? He tells me he's bored but is not brave enough to leave?

My guy friend has shown every "sign" of being into me but he has a girlfriend. Last summer when we chatted and texted around the clock every day he told me he's bored and unsatisfied and would like to kindle new flames but he's still with her. I am also in a relationship I would leave if he were willing to do the same.

Our SOs are at other schools and I'm sure we'll break up after graduation. He already told me he's not in love with her and doesn't even like sex with her. I asked him why he doesn't leave her and he said it would break her heart and he is willing to be unsatisfied and just stop caring about being happy. He says she's dumb and white trash and hates her family. He's even said if she died it would solve a lot of problems!

We've said we love each other, he's around me any chance he gets at school but, for obvious reasons, we don't see each other much outside of school. He sees me more than her but she gets to sleep with him.

I would love to have a chance with him before we go off to college next year but I'm afraid to tell him I've got feelings way past friendship for him now. I think he's cheating himself out of a chance to be with someone who is more of a match for him. He loves to tease me and spar with me and we do academic challenge together and I know he likes how smart I am. We can talk about anything and everything.

He makes food for me, shares all his food and drinks with me,
and even hand feeds me. He gives me the last of yummy things he's made, too.

Lately he's been interrogating me about my sex life, likes and things I'm into and I would love to show him how unboring sex can be!

How do I get him to realize what he could have without ruining our friendship? I'm afraid to freak him out if I suddenly start hitting on him, but he does touch me a lot and hug really tightly.

He told her he's going to break up with her right after graduation and she already doesn't care if he flirts or touches other girls as long as that's all he does, so they seem fairly over.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you both should just man up and leave your relationships. It isn't fair to lead them on and give then false hope for a future. Especially nearing graduation...


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • First step, leave your relationship. Whether you end up dating this guy or not is less important that the fact you're already having an emotional affair and being disloyal.

    Second step, offer him an ultimatum- ether he leaves his girlfriend for you or what you current have is finished.

    Third step, find a way to be better to yourself and your future partners.

    If you're unprepared to do any of this, then it's unlikely you're ever going to be with him and if somehow you do end up with him, it won't last.

  • You both are trash, I hope you guys get together. Trash belongs with trash.

    • I love how everyone loves jim and Pam from the office, but I'm trash! lol

What Girls Said 1

  • Sorry, but based on what he's said about her and her family he sounds like a total jerk! If I were you id rather be alone than be with someone that does that. Trust me if a guy talks about her like that there's nothing that says he won't talk about you like that to her. Just the truth.
    Just be his friend and find someone better. He made his own bed, he lies in it, then he tells you he wants out of it? Not a good guy. I feel sorry for the girl he is 'with'. Doesn't sound like he likes anyone. Not her, not you, not anyone you know of anyways. If he liked someone he would respect them. You probably deserve a lot better.

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