How would u respond if a guy you were dating for 3 weeks did this to you? Is it too early in the relationship to act how I did?

Okay, so basically the guy i've been seeing for almost three weeks said he'd text me to tell me if he had work that night. He usually starts work around 6pm and has to drive the hour home to go to work.

Well, he was supposed to tell me that day if he had work or not because I was going to set up a mini party where he could meet my friends. My friends ended up not being able to do anything, and it had turned into 5pm and he still hadn't texted me so I decided since it was Friday I was just going to relax with a drink. I've had a pretty bad day between screwing up my lab, having to redo a paper, and trying to deal with the one year anniversary of my uncle dieing in a car accident due to faulty tires on the work vehicle he was driving. So I was already trying to deal with a lot. It turned into 9 oclock with still no text from him. By this time I'm pretty drunk and ended up hanging out with my roommate Joe drunk and talking about hard core heavy things. I finally get a text from him at 9:30 telling me that he's at a friends house and it's boring.

So I get pissed. Some because my day was shitty, others because we haven't been able to go out on weekend and do things together since the first night we met, and he broke our tennis date the day before. I've been skipping class just to have more time with him, and now on Friday when I've finally got some free time he's nowhere to be seen. And then he expects me to be able to hang out on Saturday instead because he's got work on Sunday when I've got 3 exams next week and reviews to go to for most of the weekend, which he knows about. I'm also not going to be in town next weekend which he knows.

I also just really needed someone there for me because I still can't get over my uncle dieing. And maybe it's too soon to ask for the company of a guy you've been seeing for 3 weeks to help you with something like that.. but I felt like he didn't care, and I had told him about my uncle the day before. Did I over react?

When I was pissed at him that night, it was all over text so I just gave him short answers and told him I couldn't hang out the next day. Next day I told him I was mad at him, but he didn't apologize until I asked him to. He said it wasn't on purpose


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well... it has only been 3 weeks. He just wants to take it slow. Guys hate drama especially only after 3 weeks. You're being too needy and already telling him he's not making am effort. When we get angry at our boyfriends, they tend to distance themselves and run the other way. They're big pussies, worse than women. Men are pretty insecure when it comes to relationships, because they don't understand women and have no idea how to talk to a woman who's angry. They take it a personal attack and think 'well I'm not good enough and I can't do anything right, stomp stomp stomp. Just do your own thing, live your life and don't hold off on plans because you're waiting on his response. Women are independant, don't be dependant on a guy. The less interested you are the more interested he will be


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What Guys Said 1

  • While I have no doubt his forgetting was unintentional and he did not do it to hurt you, it's not relevant. What you need to ask is if you're getting what you need. It sounds like you're making compromises for him, but he isn't even giving you much consideration. Even though you guys haven't been together long, know that this behavior isn't likely to change. If you want to see where things go with him, be completely honest about how things are making you feel if you have not done so already. If he does not at least make an effort to be more considerate, he's likely not that invested in you.

    The big thing to consider is that you guys haven't been dating long. Most failing relationships start strong and as people stop trying to force the relationship to work, the relationship fails. If you are having these kinds of problems now, I highly doubt things will get better.


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