Why does he ignore me when he's mad?

I've been dating this guy for a few months and it's been great! We understand each other's busy schedules so we've just been going with the flow. I love that there's never been pressure. I can focus on school, hang out with MY friends and he can do the same.

Which is why I'm really confused as to why our first fight, I guess you could call it, happened. This week I asked him out and we agreed Saturday we would catch a movie. Friday he messages me and asks if he could see me that day. I say "yeah I'm free anytime before work. I can't after work because I already have plans with my friend." Which I've had for over a month too. And all he replies is "oh." I asked if i did something wrong and he said "no, I'll just see you tomorrow I guess."

That night I messaged him letting him know i was thinking of him, sorry if I said something wrong and I hoped to see him the next day. Well, he saw that and didn't reply.

Saturday comes along, it's 3 pm and I hadn't heard from him. I message him asking if he was mad at me. 6 hours later he says no. I ask if we're still on for our date and he said "I have plans with my friend." He went on to say he's had these plans for a month as well. I asked him if he already had plans with his friend, why would he make plans with me? At one in the morning he replies "sorry."

It really hurt he stood me up and it did make me a little mad, but I don't like to fight fire with fire. I'm just not sure what to do. Is this a cop out for us to stop dating? Should I just leave it alone? I can't figure out what to do if he doesn't even want to talk to me... :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he felt you were more interested in spending time with your friend than with him, hence his use of "plans with his friend" when you asked him.

    He's being immature about it, which is why he ignores you. Not necessarily the breaking point of the relationship, but you should at least talk to him about how you feel. Another possibility is that from your perspective everything was great in being "free", yet from his side, he was feeling like you didn't care as much. Seems like a conversation should clear things up, hopefully he's willing to be more understanding regarding your busy schedule and need for time with friends. Just let him know that you do appreciate and enjoy him, and things should be fine.

    • Thanks for the advice! Since then we've talked and cleared the air. I think it's definitely moved our relationship in a more serious direction. Thanks again!

    • Good to hear :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like you're dating a little boy. Personally I would not have minded you're busy no problem I'm busy at times too. When he grows up he'll be less selfish. I dated a girl that acted like him once so negative allthe time she was. Had to let her go too many tantrums like your guy is doing. Mature people don't act like that.

    • Agree, it was very immature of him. I hope by talking to him about it he won't continue that pattern. Thanks!

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