How do I ask a girl for exclusivity? Is it too soon?

I am 27 and have been dating a girl since the beginning of August (we met on Match and probably started talking mid-to-late July).

We are going on our 8th date tonight (she invited me out with her roommate and roommate's boyfriend) and I think now is a good time to define the relationship, but is it too soon?

Our dates have been great. Lots of conversation, lots of laughs, just good times and I really like her. We communicate every day. We recently agreed to see more of each other and we're starting to) and also recently had sex. She never denies my PDA (kissing, hand-holding, etc.).

Some might say it's too soon, but I also don't want to wait too long to suggest it. I get the feeling that she won't bring it up because she seems timid with making the first move/stating how she feels. She once admitted that it was a good thing I initiated a makeout session because otherwise we would have just sat there.

Long story short, I really want to take this to the next level, but fear the rejection. I have hinted that I'm not multi-dating when she has mentioned Match and she has said she doesn't have the time/energy to date anyone else, but still is still checking her messages while waiting for her subscription to end. I wasn't sure how to view that.

I guess the cliff notes question is: Should I tell her tonight that I want to be exclusive/makes things official when we get a chance to talk alone (and not around the other couple)? If so, how do I word it? Is something like, "I'm just going to throw this out there. I really like you and spending time with you and I'd like to make this exclusive and official. How do you feel?"

I think she obviously likes me, I am just nervous to ask this as I always fear the worst.

Thanks for any help!

Also, it's been pretty much 8 dates in 6 weeks because we each were on vacation for a week (and communicated through those two weeks pretty much non-stop).
Well, I managed to ask her after our night out. It didn't come out as smoothly as I rehearsed, but she responded by saying, "well, I'm glad that I didn't have to bring it up!" I suppose I should get clarification on if that's a yes, but I know it is!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't worry about time constraints, every couple moves at their own unique pace. Do I think it's too few dates/too short amount of time? No, I think it's a perfectly acceptable timeline. Her telling you that she is still checking her messages til her subscription ran out because: She wants you to know that she realizes it's not official yet but that she's thinking about it (letting the subscription run out). Plus she's not dating other people. ALSO, I think once you've started having a sexual relationship, you're there bud. Your wording for your delivery is good too. I bet she says yes before you finish your statement :) Good luck to you.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Set a date asap and tell her about it.. remain cool, act natural and stay happy.. don't be too overly serious nor too funny... just the same behavior as your past dates where both of you enjoyed and are happy :) I'm pretty positive she likes it because based on your details here seems like she's a nice girl that loves you... :) about the length of time, its not too soon..

  • Go for it! When you feel its the time you won't b able not to. After all, she said she wasn't seeing any one else so even if you weren't sure, things between you seem to b going on the right path

  • i think you should ask her and see how it goes! you should take the risk and not fear rejection otherwise you will not find out if she wants to be official too or not.. ask her l when you are alone something like"i really like you and i was wondering if you want to be my girlfriend and be official cuz i would like that too.."something like this.. believe me if the answer you get is positive she will not even remember how you asked her (the actual words i mean) good luck and keep us updated:)


What Guys Said 1