Do I tell him how I feel?

I’m unhappily married and in the process of separating. Over the summer, I unexpectedly met someone and have developed feelings for him. He doesn’t live anywhere near me, but he travels for work and we got together twice in September. The first time he kept asking about my marriage and it was obvious that he was uncomfortable, which I totally understand. The second time I saw him he didn’t ask about it at all. Nothing physical has happened between us, but I don’t know if that’s because I’m married and he’s got morals, or if it’s because he’s just not into me. About 2 weeks have passed since I last saw him and I can’t get him out of my head. It had been a few days since I heard from him so I texted him yesterday. He responded right away but didn’t say much, which is how it was before we got together the first time.

One part of me is thinking I should stop texting him since he knows where/how to find me, and if he doesn’t text me, then he’s not into me and I need to move on. But what if he just isn’t into texting and it fades away because he doesn’t know how I feel?

So do I text him and tell him how I feel, or am I rushing it and pushing for something that isn’t there? I guess part of the problem is that I have no idea where he is with this. It seems like he likes me, but I’ve been out of the game for so long I just don’t know. Add the geographic hurdle and my husband to the mix and the situation is as clear as mud.

I kinda feel like I should get it all out there, even though I’m opening myself up for a potential heartbreak by doing so. I’m too old to play games and I feel like I’ve wasted enough of my life in my unhappy marriage. And if he rejects me now, better to know sooner than later, right? But I also don't want to seem like a psycho stalker by asking for too much, too soon... What should I do?

Well, I told him. I've only heard from him briefly since then, so maybe I scared him away. I still have a sliver of hope that I'll hear more from him but it's probably over. But I'm glad I told him. I was honest with him and true to myself. His loss!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Be aware that long distance relationships don't work. You may be so drawn to him because he's providing everything your husband isn't. If you're willing to move where he is after separation (or him move to you), sure, go for it. But be aware not to jump right into the first relationship too far.


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