Does he want more? Or am I waiting for nothing?

I have been seeing this guy for almost 3 months. I really like him and care for him. He says he feels the same (at times I feel like he does) but I'm always second guessing. I asked him if this would be something more or just a fling? He said he wants to be in a relationship but doesn't know? His ex messed his head up and now he's not sure. Although in the begining of it all he wanted to get to know me more and take me places etc. Now I'm always waiting on him. He took a trip to see his family which he hasn't seen in years... He said that he would know for sure where he wants to head when he gets back. But I'm not sure if he meant with his life or us? Help! Am I waiting for nothing?


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  • With only '3 months' and hopefully still counting, smylez, you both are in what I call a Newbie relationship yet. This is the golden opportunity when two people take the time to nurse and nurture a potential relationship and See if there Might be More for ol' Mother Nature to sow and then reap into romance.
    However, 'Always second guessing 'with a guy who is not ready to Commit just yet nor be in a Real relationship, can be a bit frustrating, especially if he is linked to a ghost from the past, it will rattle one's nerves. With this I merely Mean------His Ex messed his head up and now he's not sure.
    In the beginning stages of things, you both were 'Beginning' your Beguine by getting to know one another, which is healthy, normal in Any new relationship. And although you don't have all of the answers or maybe the ones you want to hear right now, it appears you Both are Exclusive, which is a First step to Success.
    I feel he Feels pressured in your relationship and with this voyage that he is taking, perhaps even discussing things with his own family, he will have plenty of time to think and do some soul searching.
    When he comes back and he then tells you where he wants 'to head' in the direction of just taking things slow, go with the flow and be patient with him. It's only been '3 months,' not 3 years and with each day of getting to know you better, he will in Turn------Know your relationship much better and maybe have a change of heart in time.
    I cannot guarantee if he will change his mind nor make it Official any time soon in the future. It's your choice, your call if you would want to wait it out and see if it amounts to Something or just stay in the game and take your other chances Of----Waiting for nothing.
    It's hard to know what he will mean when he comes back as to 'Life or us.' But this much I know that if he is still willing to hang in here with you, you need to not rush him, not bring up 'About us' and just take things much slower.
    Good luck. xx

    • I completely understand what you are saying. I have kept it at a very slow pace. I don't bring it up because it makes things awkward. But I do let him know how I feel. It's been two days and I haven't heard from him? The last time I heard from him it was on good terms... I text him yesterday just to see how his night went and I didn't get a reply.

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    • It's been a week now and I'm confused about the situation. I still haven't heard from him since the lasttext I sent him. I Like him a lot but I'm not sure if I should text him or let him go? If he didn't contact Me after so long wouldn't that mean he's over it? Feeling very bummed.

    • Hi, smylez, If he isn't replying to your texts, which I find him rude and crude, he may be giving you a subtle hint that he wants to break it off. If he was telling the truth by saying he was going to do some thinking at his parents, then he may even have talked it over with them and made up his mind... I am wondering if he is telling the truth even by saying he went to see family or was it excuse just to make a clean break right then? I think if he had made up his mind to just end it, then he should have been man enough to man up to you either by phone or fact to face, not this way... No, don't send him any more... Leave it for now, he may still get in touch. If not, move on... xx

  • I'm in the same position with my guy. Im going crazy. Seems like for me, I want something serious and he doesn't so I have to figure out if I want to deal with that or not. I'm leaning towards not.

    • I want it to lead to something serious, but because I've been hurt before I was willing to take it slow and he does too. Now it seems like I'm just there when he wants or needs me. It not the same back. He rarely calls me. But texts all the time. This sucks. I'm being there for him but I don't feel I'm getting the same. I'm leaning towards not wanting this anymore Ither.

    • I tried to bring it up last night over text (bc he likes to texture than talk on the phone too) and he told me I was putting too much pressure and overthinking it. I almost broke it off right there. I honestly don't know why I didon't. I didn't reply back and now I'm pissed. I plan on ignoring him for a few days, mature right? I just can't deal with this crap!

    • I'm sorry your going through that. I haven't heard from my guy in two days. I'm afraid to call because I don't want to invade his "whatever" he's doing. But its starting to make me worry.