I miss him! Should I wait for him to contact me, or keep if moving?

I need some advice. So it's been about 5 months since I've been dealing with this man. I like him so much! He's been very consistent as far as calling and texting from day 1. I would never call or text first, especially call. We've went out to breakfast and lunch. He's 43, a firefighter and the sex is great lol... he says he misses me all the time and that I'm important to him. He works crazy hours all the time. I love getting attention and I feel like if I don't get it then I'm not important to him. (He spoiled me) I know it might seem selfish but that's just the way that I am. He wants me to call and text him everyday and when he's at work at the firehouse check on him. It's like he wants the benefits of the relationship but not the relationship. He wants honesty, consistency and loyalty which he gave me. Last week Wednesday I told him that he would never hear me bitching about seeing him anymore because I was done. He texts me over and over saying, I care and don't wannah lose you, I miss you, I want you now, I don't wannah be without you. We finanally talked after 3 days. We argued for a little bit because he said I only wanted him for his dick lol (wrong) the disrespectful part of what he told me was that "I enjoy fucking you" smh so that night I told him we can be friends but keep the sex part out. I thought it would've been best for both of us. Since Sunday I haven't heard from him, not even a text. I told that that out off all the texts he sent me saying he cared that he would've never been so disrespectful if he cared. Maybe he was too mad and just said anything out of his mouth idk... I miss him so much. It's only been a 5 month friendship but it's been the best that I've had all my life with a man. He was so consistent and nice to me even on days when there was no sex involved. We respected each other's opinions and talked about anything. I was only scared because I didn't want my heart broken. Should I wait for him to call or text me or just let it be?

  • Keep it moving?
    Vote A
  • Go after him?
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's hard to say. I don't know for sure what his intentions were. On one hand you say he wasn't giving you all that you needed, but on the other say he was very consistent and good to you. So I'm a bit confused.

    Anyway, since you had such strong feelings, I think it's worth contacting him one last time to be open and see what will happen. It'll give you closure if nothing else. Don't let your insecurities get in the way of your conversation. In fact, try to keep it really concise. Don't talk so much, don't point the finger. You should be able to get a gut feeling of how things are going to go without needing to say, "Well now we're going to date but without the sex because I don't trust you." No one wants to feel not trusted. Just listen to him and then trust your gut about his intentions.

    • Thanks for your response. He knows that I only want him and that I was loyal without the title... I told him so! I only said NO SEX because he said that that's all I wanted from him. So Just the fact that he hasn't been in contact since Sunday makes me feel like I've proven my point. If it's something that he enjoyed doing with me other than being a good friend and he feels some type of way that I took that away from him he should day so. Idk... I Really feel like I should leave the ball in his court. I want him but will not chase him. He's 43 and I'm 31 obviously way more experienced. He should be able to tell me what he really wants as well.

    • That's true. Has he ever been married before? He may just be a bachelor for life, as they say. He gets close but not too close. If your gut is telling you to wait and hear from him first, then do that. I agree that women shouldn't chase a man. It never helps to create feelings for her so it's pretty pointless. My suggestion was more out of a closure aspect if you felt you needed that.

    • Never been married and been single for a long time. Of course he dated but nothing too serious. You just might be right. Bachelor for life

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  • I think you should let him know how you feel and ask him how he feels and then see how it goes
    I wish you all the best and good luck