How do I ask a girl out for a date after she's said no but has hinted recently that she might be into it?

How do I ask a girl out for a date after she's said no but has hinted recently that she might be into it?

The last time I asked my friend out, she said no. Not because she doesn't like me. She does. She basically said she wasn't ready, that I wouldn't want to date her. That she didn't want it to ruin the friendship if it didn't work out, and that she just wants to be friends.

Lately though, I've been getting a few signals from her. She's planned things to do with me months in advance. Such as my birthday, and a trip on Christmas to visit our families back in our hometown where we are both from. And when she stayed over after a night of drinking with friends, she slept in my room. While I slept on the floor.

I know most people would say that I shouldn't ask her out again. I'm not going to be asking her out anytime soon as it would be too soon since we had a bit of a fight 2 months ago. And I invited her to a movie for her birthday and she turned it into a group event... so I know its not the right time just yet.

I'm most likely going to let her come to me first. But I'm just curious as how one would go about it. How should I approach? What cues should I look for before I approach?

Fyi. The movie was/ group hangout is next week.
I basically want her to know that no matter what happens we would still be friends. But that I'd at least like to give it a shot. Because you never know what lol happen ubless you take a leap.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Dont make any moves, if she wants you as more than a friend she will come to you. She already knows how you stand in feelings about her, the ball is in her court now. But from my experience with guy friends asking me out, usually no the first time meant no. And if for some reason I ever had a change of heart I would be the one to pursue... but that never happened. Once in the friend zone pretty much always there.

    • I don't plan on probing until around my birthday next month. But Idk.. today she told me she's inviting a guy friend she met online a few months agp to the group hangout... an event that was originally just her and I. That I had set up... So I don't know what to think.

      And then there is the fact that she's wanting to come back to my place that night for a few drinks. To which there is a chance she'll spend the night again.

      How should I handle the unexpected male addition? Should I hold my tongue or express my discomfort at the fact that she turned a day with her and me into a day with a group of people... only to then bring in a guy that I don't know and don't know his motives yet. She is the type that has a lot of guy friends. And is looking for "the one"... I feel like she is testing me in some way...

    • Truth is, is that I know that she does like me. Whenever she's out with friends drinking, she texts me, telling me how great of a friend I am. How much she values me in her life. A couple times when we've hung out at the bar and she's had a bit too much to drink she's even kissed me (once after telling me that she would never kiss me). Every now and again she'll try and make me jealous...

      Which I find weird since she says she's not attracted to me but does infact like me a lot. I feel like she's unsure about what she really wants. So while I am willing to wait for her to come to me, like she's even told me to do. I want to be able to subtly remind her that I'm here for her. I am ready to take the next step whenever she is. That just going out on a date won't ruin the friendship. And that if it were to morph into something else and it didn't work out, that the friendship would still be there. I'm not the type of guy to give up on a friendship just because it doesn't work out.

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