I F*cked Up Big Time... How Can I Get Over It?

I'll make this short:

-Met this girl. After 2 months of talking, she became infatuated with me. We talked everyday, and she would always initiate the conversations on social media sites.

-I liked her, too... but I found out she had a kid, dropped out college, worked a grocery store and she was a bigger girl.

-My dream was to meet a girl that had no kids, finished college, worked out and had a solid job.

-Even though I liked her, I simply told I would have to think about our relationship. Again... I liked her, but I didn't want any extra baggage, you know?

-She left town for a couple days to chill with old friends... and I suddenly started missing her a lot and realized I really liked her.

-When she came back, I told her my feelings... but she said she started talking to someone else. After that... she stopped contacting me all the time, didn't seem enthusiastic anymore when I talked to her and started spending more time with this guy.

-She also told me she is moving soon to be with the guy. And then she will start going to the gym and going back to school.

-When I talk to her sometimes (I initiate everything now), the conversations still seem a little flirty. I'm not trying to take her away from her BF... but I do enjoy talking to her.

I really missed a great opportunity here with a girl that is fun and that I enjoyed. How can I get over her and move on? I've tried talking to other women... but it's not the same.

I've pulled a few numbers from other women during the past few days and started talking to them... but it's not the same as it was when I was talking to her...


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • They say that love is blind! You know that she's seeing someone and you can't be with her, but your feelings can't go away so quickly.. It's normal. It takes time to get over someone. You can't just go after another girl and forget all about her. I suggest to stop talking to her and also to other women until you don't feel anything for her. Do other things. Work, go out with your friends, a hobby..


What Guys Said 1

  • My opinion is as follows: You are young. You will meet plenty of great girls. Don't dwell, stick to your desires for a match as much as that's practical. Choose to settle, especially after deciding you didn't want to, is likely a big mistake - something you could regret if you had gotten back together. Patients, positive attitude, put yourself out there. Good luck!

    • Great answer... but that's also what I am fighting myself with: Am I settling? Or Do I really like her? I had great chemistry with the girl, similar interests... and talking to her was never boring and I didn't have to try hard. Sure... she had a kid, didn't finish school and was a little big... but she said she was going to work on school and work on getting fit again (after she moves in with this guy).

      Over the past few days... I've been talking to boring women. I just felt a spark when I talked to her...

    • It's natural to second guess. If you limit who you see, your likely to second guess even more. If what you gained from that past relationship was what you *are* looking for in a person! then that is a success. Appreciate that you know what you want and know others are out there. My understanding of who I was looking for took much longer and was born out of a bad, compromise driven relationship. Don't compromise now that the person that wasn't the right fit for you (remember, you decided that) is now off the market. Feel confident that you will know now when you meet the right person. If you do, it will happen.