Living With The Parents... Feeling Annoyed?

When I look at my friends, I think they are idiots. They moved out between the ages of 18-20. Some live with their girlfriends and some live with roommates. Thing is, a lot of them are living pay check by pay check. BUT... they all have social lives, get to have sex whenever they want and pull all nighters.

I'll be 24 soon. I just finished college. Have $20,000 worth of debt, will start my new job in November and I can't travel far since my car breaks down a lot.

My goal was to pay off the debt while living with my parents. Trade in and buy new car when debts are paid. Save up to 10-15K and then move out and live by myself in an apartment by age 25-26 or so.

Thing is, when I live with my parents, I just feel like I don't have the same luxuries as my friends who live alone. If I go out all night, my parents will worry. One time this girl who lives 1.5 hours away from me wanted me to come to her house at 12am. I couldn't go because I live with mommy and daddy and they would worry.

I can't bring home or meet a lot of women. My parents would judge them and then they would judge me for picking up so many women.

I can't have sex (I'm still a virgin). Again... they would judge me or they would get worried that I am still out by 3 AM.

I do go out to hang with friends sometimes... but I don't stay out too late.

At the end of the day... I will have no debt, a nice car and a nice apartment by myself. As opposed to my friends who live paycheck to paycheck, crappy car and live with 1-2 other roommates.

Is what I am doing worth it? Should I continue to wait?

  • Move Out Now
    Vote A
  • Stay & Build Your Finances First
    Vote B
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
At the end of the day... it comes to this question:

Would you want a guy who struggles constantly with living expenses? Or do you want a guy who can provide and offer security with what he has established by being patient?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Your friends aren't idiots just because they made the decision of moving out sooner rather than later. They may be living pay check to pay check but they're being independent, and as long as they can pay their bills and aren't evicted out of their home they're doing a-okay.

    It's an individual decision that depends on what you personally would prefer. Would you rather be independent and live pay check to pay check, or still live with your parents but be able to save money? Neither choice is right or wrong.

    • I suppose idiot was a wrong choice of words. Just a little annoyed... because this has been on my mind all day... so my apologies.

    • No need to apologize, I was just saying :)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • Life is about experiences. When you're old and thinking back on your life will you tell stories of all the money you saved and the debts you paid off? I'm sure your friends with have some more interesting stories. You only live once, and in the end all you have are the memories. Make them count.

    • True... but it depends what you define as good memories. I lived on campus when I was in college. I went to parties, got drunk, went out sometimes and the such. Those are not the type of memories I want.

      Looking back and being able to tell your kid or whatever that you were able to get that job, get that car and do those things because you made the sacrifices... that's more of a better story to me. Look at some of the richest people in the world. They made a lot of sacrifices in youth... but were able to enjoy the benefits as they got older.

    • well then it seems you've found your answer.

  • EVERYONE is relatively poor in their early 20's.. once you get your career sorted and start earning more in your full time job you'll be able to focus on paying off your debts and buy a new car. until then why not just live like them? you're in your 20's just enjoy it! everyone else is and it would suck having to live with your parents curfews and worries at this age

  • By the sounds of your responses/question I think you have it all set. Just stay like that because you find different experiences more memorable and yes I think staying and saving up is a much better approach/ way to go. It's smarter and you will be more comfortable. You may even find yourself happy where as your friends are all regretful that they couldn't save up whilst they were still living with their parents.

  • Omg... I'm in the same boat, I'll be graduating soon no debt yet thought. They drive me nuts, my mother calls me if I'm not home by a certain time mind you (I'm over 21). My sister's like to linger in my room so does my mother. I can't even study at home because I just won't be able to focus nor can I talk on the phone personally sometimes.

    I thought about moving out so many times but I'm not letting my friends get to me. I make good money, no bills but the minors, car is paid, and have even started a 401K. I've even looked at homes but refuse to live paycheck to paycheck.

    It's tempting, but be smart don't do it. Instead of renting your first place with the money you have saved you'll be buying your first place. Take advantage of mom and dad!

    • Exactly what I'm getting at. Let me ask you something: Would you want to live with a roommate in a small apartment? Would you want to live paycheck to paycheck? Would you want to drive a shitty car for the next 5 years? I don't.

      People kinda shake their heads at me when I see this stuff, but I feel like I am being smart. At the end of my plan.. I will have no debt. I will be able to afford a nice sports car. I will be able to live alone in a clean/crisp apartment, and I will be able to buy & afford nice clothes.

      At the end of the day, that is what I want. But... it's tough because I want to have sex, meet people and have fun, travel and pull all nighters right now -_-.

    • I know a guy is freakin' almost 50 and he is still living paycheck to paycheck and living with a roommate -_-.

    • Whoa seriously? If you want to hang out with some friends see if one of your buddies will be ok with you bringing a girl over or spending the night sometimes. Forget the roommate thing, I have done well for myself by living wIth my parents. I honestly could buy a home but really why should I? You 'll know when it's time to go for sure.

  • i would build your finances first

  • No point in complaining if you are planning on staying there for financial reasons. Either deal with it or move out. You have a car. So you don't always have to be at home.

    • Yes... a car with over 300,000 miles that breaks down constantly.

    • Show All
    • But she was over an hour away. Don't feel bad. The guy I'm dating lives pretty close. My issue is now he wants to get a hotel and he never wanted that before and he wants me to go Dutch

    • My mom lets get bf invite random people over but if I invite one guy she says no
      That is when I knew that it's time to get my own stuff

What Guys Said 4

  • Dude, I've been wondering THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING.

    Been living with the 'rents for a year now, still no full-time job, but no debt and a good little chunk of change saved up ($3,000) or so. Could easily move out and have a decent apartment for 4+ months while finding a job that covers the expenses.

    Know a bunch of people who live paycheck to paycheck and can't understand it. Hate stressing about money because the shit's barely even real. But, like you said, they always have crazy ass stories that I can't even compare to because I spend so much time with my parents.

    Honestly, I've thought about just packing in the towel and doing some crazy shit like moving to Austin, TX or Portland, OR and just livin'. Can't even remember the last time I was intimate with a woman (maybe a year ago?)

    I agree with Lillith that life is about experiences and that you can't have many while still being stuck in the "living with parents" phase. While it's great to save money and "be responsible," you have until you're dead to pay off these loans.

    Plus, you sound like a responsible dude who wouldn't let himself live paycheck to paycheck, like me. You'd budget and always have a little money to do what you wanted, even if it meant that you just ate pasta every night or something.

    I don't know, I'm rambling. Ready for a change. Ready to make great art. Ready to make love.

    • You understand me. And yes... I am responsible. Loans add up though. I had 20,000 loans... but they are now 23,000 from interest -_-. So those have to paid off before I leave this house and have to deal with other bills/payments.

      People that live on their own right now don't have much. They have a shitty car. Crappy apartment. Live paycheck to paycheck. Live with a roommate. If I wanted to live with someone, might as well stay with my parents -_-.

      What I am doing is quite simple: I want to make the most out of what I have. With my plan, I can be that guy driving a nice car (gunning for a Red Mustang):

      I can be the guy with a sweet apartment and live alone... not having to worry about the habits of a roommate

      Then I can do what everyone else is doing... but better. That's what I want to ensure... but its a tough wait.

    • I get it. I'm not one for a bunch of nice stuff (although I would prefer a nice apartment), but I admire your ambition a lot. The Mustang is a nice touch and should last a while.

      I'm mostly just sick of not being independent/able to do what I want 24/7. If I'm living on my own I'm usually living a more bohemian lifestyle without a lot of strict scheduling.

      I really don't understand living paycheck to paycheck and not being stressed out... just doesn't make sense to me. Like, what if you lose your job suddenly? That's some REAL LIFE shit. I don't know. I can't claim to have any more answers than anyone else.

  • Bro get the fuck out of their and start living your life. If your worried about rent get a roommate your age, tell your parents living with them is hindering your progression into independence and adulthood. I can't wait to get the hell out of my house. I mean I have great parents but fuck I'm ready to be my own person.(Senior in hs)

    • Why would I want a roommate? I enjoy living by myself and inviting people over... just like I did in college.

    • So you wouldn't have to pay all the rent. I don't know man, just trying to put out some alternatives for a guy who is struggling financially and has resorted to living with his parents.

  • In the current economy, tons of young people still live with their parents. I don't think it's a big deal. Financially, it's often a smart choice. You might not have the same freedoms, but as you said it'll pay off in a few years when you're financially stable and independent. Better to live with your parents now when you're getting your life together than have to come back in your thirties because your paycheck-to-paycheck living became unsustainable.

  • well at least you have a college degree, seems they are more relevant today in society