Should I allow my girlfriend to hang out with this guy she goes to school with?

She met him on a cruise over the summer while we were dating and they found out they were gonna go to the same college together. He told her on the cruise that if she didn't have a boyfriend then he would kiss her right then. He said that was too bad that she had one and that he couldn't do that. He wants to hang out with her all the time. Going to clubs and going out to eat and stuff like that,. What should I do? Should I allow her to hang out with him or not? She would never cheat on me. She is a VERY honest person and she tells me all the time that she wants to be with me and me only. I am 3 hours away now that we are both at our colleges and she is down there with him hanging out all the time. What should I do about it? I don't feel like I can trust him!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The same thing happened to me, except I live with my boyfriend. I wanted to have some guy friends and I met one and we went out to dinner and it was really harmless for me. But for the other guy, not so much and my boyfriend could sence that he did not just want to be my friend, he was trying to move in on me sort of speak. It didn't take me long to realize what he was doing, and the didn't want to just be my friend. My boyfriend hated the idea of me going and hanging with this guy, but he let me because he trusted me. If your girlfriend is honest, you have nothing to worry about, and soon she will figure out if the situation is a healthy one :)

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    • Thanks you sooo much for that! I really appreciate the way you worded things and thanks for the advice. It has helped tremendously!! :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • I agree with Armyant. If you start using the word allow, she'll just fight you & odds are she'll think you don't trust her. You say you trust her... if that is true, then you should act like you trust her to not cheat on you. Not trusting him is one thing, & telling her that it makes you kind of uncomfortable is fine, but if you start trying to tell her who she can & can't hang out with, she'll leave you (if she's smart).

    Long & short of it is TRUST YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Unless she has done something to make you feel she isn't trustworthy (which she evidently hasn't), she deserves it.

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  • I think for one you need to drop the idea that you can control who she sees. and second the guy is most likely harmless. My best friend happens to be a male and we were interested in each other when we met but is fizzled out. Express your concern respectully and then you leave it alone. If she decides that she wants to leave you for her that is her decision, and you will ultimately have to respect that

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What Guys Said 2

  • You can't force her not to do it, but I'd definitely talk to her honestly about your concerns. Honestly, if this guy right away had those feelings and said something like "I would kiss you but..." he's definitely interested. Not only is he interested, but he will continue to try and get with your girlfriend. If it happens long enough, she could change and start to see him in that light and cheat on you or break up with you. I know you said she is honest, but no matter how honest if she puts herself in that situation he could eventually, slowly work her down to doing something.

    Guy friends are fine, but when they cross the line like that I'd be cautious. He was testing her to see if she'd still mess around with him even though she had a boyfriend when he said that. If she would have kissed him or invited him in after that he would have been all over it.

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  • You should explain your concerns to her, but for goodness' sake try to do it without using the word 'allow', because you are, after all, just a boyfriend, not someone who can dictate her personal life to her.

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    • What is the best way to bring this type of thing up?

    • There's no way without sounding jealous, plus your girlfriend sounds like she won't fall for this clown's ploys anyway.

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