My boyfriend (I suppose) only shows me any type of affection when we're in private.(we're both kind of shy people)?

Ok guys bare with me because this is going to be long. I've recently started dating this guy who I really like for about a month now where we got to know each other a lot better. We've both agreed that we would be in a companionship instead of a relationship which I'm fine with. But I've started noticing that my guy only likes to show me affection when we're both alone and in private. I'm fine with that but it's to the point where if we're in public, like walmart, he would just walk so far away from me like we don't know each other. Other thing is when we're out with our friends (we have the same friends) he just acts like I don't exist or like we're not together which is embarrassing since our friends would come and ask me if we're fighting or broken up. Other thing that happen was I came into my job and he was there with his sister and he completely ignored me. I'm not that upset because he's with his sister but a little smile or wave would of been nice. I feel like he doesn't want me to meet his family, maybe it's because of our race difference (I'm African-American, he's white) but idk. Another thing is we only hangout at night time, which I can understand since he has his classes and work and so do I but it's only at night, never during the day. I'm starting to feel like I'm some dirty little secret to him, I know I shouldn't but I can't shake that feeling. Please help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Cut your loses. Let him know how you feel. Let him know that both of you are in it together because whatever hatred from racism he receives, you will too. He doesn't like to be seen with you (not because you may be unattractive but because of race issues). He's scared maybe so either be by his side and make that clear with him or let him know you feel unimportant or leave him alone. Plenty of fish in the sea.

    • Thank you for your advice! I really needed that.

    • Show All
    • Haha yeah I know, I just wouldn't know how to bring it up.

    • I'm thinking just bring it out. If you are sexually active either bring it up before sex (after foreplay because he wants sex so he will listen) or after sex because that's pillow talk. Pillow talk is good for couples.
      If you aren't sexually active then anytime is good. Count to three and just do it.

      Or be like babe we need to talk and don't talk to him for a bit (leave a bunch of suspense. Suspense will have him asking you what did you need to talk about then it'll be easier for you to talk about it. It'll be a reminder.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It's like he is trying to have a specific image of himself when in public. He is maybe shy with making you guys public to everyone, or he is self-concious of people thinking things about him when they see you guys having affection. Seems like he wants the relationship under the radar only.


What Girls Said 1

  • What is the question

    • I maybe should of but a question here but, if this relationship I'm in worth continuing even at the rate it's going?

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