Am I too guarded? Should I be willing to open up?

Recently I went on a few dates with two different women. Both wanted to get physical after only the third date. Having only known them for a couple of weeks, jumping into sex is something I was not comfortable with. I cannot begin a physical relationship with a woman I don't know or trust. Intimacy, in my opinion, is something that should be reserved for two partners in a committed relationship, not thrown around at every person you find attractive. Upon me telling them this in an effort to be truthful and upfront, they broke things off. That being said, when telling my friends about this situation, they responded by telling me I am a very guarded person, and they've noticed that I don't really open open up to anyone. This confuses me. Why would I open up to someone I barely know? I feel the need to protect myself, and when it comes to women, that means keeping them at arms length and letting them in on a need-to-know basis until I am comfortable that I can trust them. I've been run through the ringer, as most people have, by manipulative, deceitful people in my life, so being reserved and unwilling to open up has become the norm for me. Should this be something that I need to try and change? Or am I correct in my actions?


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What Girls Said 1

  • You respect yourself & are protecting yourself. I see nothing wrong with that. If anything I see it as a great quality.

    • Thank you that is exactly what I am trying to convey to these women I meet!

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