This isn't really a question but an advise?

if you are dating someone who shows odd behaviour, dont look past it. add things up and check yourself what is going on. I've been dating a single mother who most likely has borderline, and look were it got me... im on anti depressants/happy pills right now. really do the researcxh because people with borderline/ bipolar etc... they destroy you... one moment they want you, the next they dont, and whenever you aproach them, its always about them. you can never do the right fucking thing... GL and feel free to write me if you are or went through shit like this


Most Helpful Girl

  • I always tell everyone who is getting themselves into Baggage to boot that it will cause repercussions down the road. And if she has a Kid or Kids in your relationship, on top of everything else from A-Z in the Mental Issue department, then it is sure to drive you Yourself----Bananas.
    I don';t have this, thank, God, but many of my own family members have Something from soup to nuts. And it is 'Something' that lives with them, day in and ay out, having to be on meds as well, along with putting a monkey wrench in a relationship.
    Along with doing 'Research' on the emotional and mental issue on one end, anyone Getting into dating or having a relationship with a 'Single' Anything with an attached caboose is another Big "Issue' that they should have their homework cut out with.
    Like vinegar and soda water that doesn't mix well, your own results with 'Mixing' company with someone who you may find is Not the right chemistry no matter how you slice the cake Could End up to Be-----Detrimental to your own health.
    Good luck. xx

    • i agree with you, but the problem is you never know before you are dating and attaching to someone like that, you fall in love with them and then they strike ( not always knowing that what they are doing is hurting others ) . so the part hurting the most is, you care for them... adnd they cut you from their life. you have to be mentally strong to put up with people like that, but you can only help them if they realize themselves that they are having problems... im pretty strong minded but this is completely new t me. it broke and still breaks my heart... i care for her but im on the sideline, with my mouth taped , seeing how she is making her life even worse...

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    • i do feel like taking a week off and get myself together, now i have to face her every day at work, but i dont want people to think week of me, because ill be using anti depressants.. me sitting alonein my appartment ain't makings things better. i feel like i want to help her but how can say to someone i think you have borderline, ... i dont think she will take it lightly, or maybe she does and finally gets apparoval of what she might be thinking of herself, i dont know, she is really unpredictable and only reasonable when she is in a good mood.

    • It's hard to work with someone you have to face when working together and in a relationship, even when in a break or break up.. However, you need time for you now, maybe even a few days off to get your mind together... You can't make her see it if she is in denial even and as far as you go, no one has to know you are on anything. xx

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What Girls Said 1

  • I get it that some people who are bipolar or have other mental disorders may be tough to be around or tough to deal with.

    But as a person with severe anxiety, bipolar disorder, and depression let me just say, fuck you. Somedays I'm a raging bitch, I'll admit it and sometimes I break out crying for no reason, but my husband is educated to know that it's not my fault, I can't control it, I try to and I try to catch myself and stop before I freak out or anything, I do my best and he knows it, so if I'm being a bitch that day, he might get annoyed and irritated a little, but he still loves me and is nice to me because he knows it's not my fault. And I'm certainly not selfish.

    People like that will not destroy you, I know they can be hard to be around sometimes, and it might be stressful on you, but some of the sweetest and nicest people I've met have mental disorders, it's not something they choose, and they do their best to function normally and to control it, but do you ever think of how hard it must be for them?

    I know personally I never make things all about me, and I always think I'm the guilty one when things don't go right, which is the opposite of what you described, and most the people I've talked to with mental disorders are like me, not like what you described.

    • ok why i think she has borderline:
      1. she is extremely selfish, only aproach her when she is ok with it, or else she blocks you on fb.
      2. One moment she wants me over, 1 day later, its a no, no explenation nothing,
      3. i never did her wrong, but yet she acts like i did her wrong.
      4. she is a controll freak, one moment she ignores me flat out, the next moment she is all over me.
      5. its always about her, she can get angry but if im angry im wrong, give me a break, im not a robot
      6. she is very unresposible, smoking way to much, eating to less, sending her 7 yo daughter to poland, on her own so surprise her own mother,
      7. she is a closed book, never willing to talk or anything,
      8. one moment she declines me willing to give her my new adress, 2 hours later she is all friendly, and ask me about my new adress
      9. constant mood swings, friendly aproachable, distant and cold, friendly, irritated for no reason...
      so no not fuck me, im on happy pills ebcause of her borderline behaviour

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    • should i give her on a paper the concerns i have... i m really running out of options, i dont know if its right, because i think she will take it as an insult...

    • Tell her you're concerned about her and why, show her you care and that you're not trying to insult her, you just want the best for her and you would be willing to help.

      If she accepts, great.
      If she doesn't, walk away and tell yourself at least you tried.

What Guys Said 1

  • My sister probably has borderline, my parents are going to get her tested.. She is pretty selfish a lot of the time and exactly like you at the moment, my mom is having a really hard time. My sister probably can't understand what she is putting my mother through, she is very busy at work (she works in an elderly home). My sister is very dependent on other people even though she is 24.. She can't think logically for example. My mom tells her to get out of bed because she has to go to work in a hour, she says: "I'll get out in 5 minutes". Half a hour later she comes out of bed and tells my mom that she needs to be brought to work by car because else she'll be late.. I don't know if it's selfishness or borderline but it looks like she just doesn't care about others and she thinks the whole world is about her. She also threathens with suicide sometimes.. saying that nobody loves her.

    I have to admit that sometimes when she is around the vibe just goes down.. everyone knows what they can expect and she is just a ticking time bomb that can't be defused.. I also feel bad for her because I know she feels that it's different when she is around too, but then again.. she did it herself and she keeps doing what she is doing..

    • ummm you think i have borderline... i was talking about a girl i dated, im on anti depresants right now because of the way she treated me

    • No I forgot to close my sentence, this is correct:

      my parents are going to get her tested.. She is pretty selfish a lot of the time. And exactly like you at the moment, my mom is having a really hard time.

      I can see why you got confused but I ment that just like you, my mom is also having a hard time dealing with sister who probably has borderline.

    • ooh sorry ok i get it now, well it takes a lot of time to understand people with borderline, but its hard, because to us it makes no sence, how can people be like this. one moment you mean the world to them, and the next moment, they hate you and you dont know what you did wrong. you will blame yourself for it , and thats were you will end up competely shattered. its good that your parents are so involved with your sister even if she is 24... but everyone comes from a caring family who is willing to take these steps. my girl was in a relationship with someone who was 6 years older, when she was just 14. i would never ever allow my daughter to hang around with someone like that. but no one ever told her that, resulting in her being pregnant when she was just 16. and yes she is a caring mother but at the same time, she sends her kid all alone to poland , a 7yo kid, as a surprise visit... and she dismisses ther childs behaviour toowards me as normall, her kid was rude and agressive...