It started out so well and happy but now she's cold and avoiding me?

I've known this woman for 3 months and we were friends who got along fairly well. Always a smile between us and laughing together or just providing some good advice whenever either of us needed it.

I asked her out about a month ago and she said yes. We went out on a handful of dates (we're both fairly busy with work and school) throughout September and each one went on for hours, cuddling, making out and just generally enjoying each other's company. I'd tell her, with 100% sincerity, how special she is and how I'm happy that I met someone like her and that I could cuddle for hours. She'd smile and tell me she felt the same way about me. Our last date sort of ended up canceled since she had to help out her best friend in an awkward situation but before she met up with her I still managed to spend a couple hours with her just fooling around and leaving with a kiss. We haven't slept together.

Now in the past two weeks since that date she seems really distant and avoiding me. Every time I try to make plans she seems to have an excuse ready to go. Either her friend from out of town is spending the day with her, or she's already made plans with her room mates for the night... that sort of thing. I believe her. Before if she couldn't make a night she'd at least offer an alternative date to meet up. I'm not even getting that. We do work at the same place and whenever we'd make eye contact she'd always shoot me a great smile that sort of thing. Now even that doesn't seem to happen any longer. She has mentioned before that she's breaking one of her cardinal rules to never date a co-worker but that she thinks I'm worth of the risk.

I wonder if that's the sudden hold up? Because, honestly, not a single issue until these past 2 weeks. It'll now be at least 3 weeks before I'll have seen her outside of work. I'm just so confused. I really do like her. I asked if anything is wrong and she said no. I asked if she's avoding me and she said no. I don't know what changed.


Most Helpful Girl

  • well there are a lot of things that could've happened here;
    1. she may have heard or seen something that made her think she needs to keep her distance.
    2. she may have found someone else :(
    3. she may have just changed her mind about how important work is (girls can be rather fickle)
    4. (most likely***) she's afraid of getting too close to someone, most girls have been through a lot of hurt and are afraid of going through the same hurt again, so they end up just not pursuing what they want.. out of fear.
    but maybe talk to her, don't be too intense though,'cause that may just worsen it.
    i hope that was helpful :)


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'd leave her be, if she wants to be with you she'll come to you. You already asked her what was wrong and if she was avoiding you. She has to know things went from 100 to 0 and should have the decency to keep it real with you.


What Guys Said 1

  • been there, done that. It just sucks :(