Online Dating: Worth it?

I'm a young (22yo) shy guy, I'm more of a housefly and don't get out much.

Occacionally I go out with friends to a bar, but when we go we're always with a group of 15 or so (all the girls in our group are involved with one of my friends from the group). This leaves very little room for me to "meet" new girls and talk to.

On the rare occasion that I do get to meet a new girl, she either has no intrest in me other than being friends. Or I just have no clue on how to pick up hints and I really doubt they are leaving hints for me.

So I was wondering if I should start doing some online dating? I know that in my country (belgium) there are some really good sites, but all of those require payment for membership. And i don't plan on paying membership unless i know it's worth it.

So I wanted to ask you guys, do you think it's worth attempting to online dating when you are still so "young"?
And have you girls/guys had any experiences with this? Were they good or bad, please tell me more about it?

PS. I should note that I once met a girl from my country (or well she was originaly foreign, but moved here) in a videogame. We got along great and talked everyday about everything (yes EVERYTHING). After a year of talking on daily basis all day long
We decided to meet up. We set a date and everything, and she told me countless times she was looking forward to it and excited about it. And when they day came she stood me up and I never heard ANYTHING from her again, she never logged in anymore.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've only started online dating in the last year, and I'm a fair bit older than you.

    It's a weird experience at first, everyone is very shallow and strange and you might find someone who suits you perfectly, you send them a really nice message - and get no response. This will keep happening and happening. You need to avoid getting discouraged, eventually you'll figure it out and will start having more luck, more conversations, more dates.

    I've had some good experiences, such as seeing girls regularly for dates and more ;)
    I've also had bad experiences, like people who lied about their weight, lied about their intentions or wasted my time.

    • That's what I'm most afraid of... my first online experience got really bad really fast.
      I don't judge on bodytype as I'm sorta not in perfect shape either, but I hate people that lie. It's one of the few things that will always be stuck in my mind, because one lie always leads to multiple lies.

    • With respect, meeting someone in a game and meeting them on a dating site are quite different. Online makes it easier for people to lie but it could still happen with someone you met in real life too.

      I always tell people that every new person you meet deserves the benefit of the doubt, show them you at your best, not your cynical and bitter worst ;)

      You really just need to jump in and go for it. I once talked to a girl all night, all the following afternoon and then the following evening she got drunk and started saying really weird and rude stuff (all of this was either via the website or via text message). I could not believe how this girl who I had felt this real connection with now seemed absolutely determined to throw it all away as quickly as possible over problems she'd made up.

      Don't be discouraged by a bad experience. You won't get someone unless you try, girls won't just fall into your lap.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Look up an American show named Catfish.

    bottom line is, don't do it because 3/4 of the people on a site will be fake or not who they claim to be/look like.

    I know this from experience.

    If you want a girlfriend you're gonna have to go get out there and get one, so hold you head up high and go get one!

    All it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage and a positive attitude.

    I have a boyfriend and I've had a few guys flirt with me when I go somewhere public alone, like a park or school or a restaurant. Just be yourself and dont worry if you don't find someone at first.

    I think a successful way is to go by yourself to a bar or some casual local hangout spot and just make friends. then they have friends and those friends have friends, so the ballpark become bigger to find a friend to turn into a girlfriend. Iv'e seen it happen that way quite a bit.

    another way is to just stop looking. both my boyfriend and I were not looking for love, so we hung out as friends and by the end of the day we had fallen in love. it was not intentional, and not at all planned.
    there's a word for it in america, we call it serendipity, when you look for something and cannot find it, but then when you give up and dont look for it, it was in plain sight the whole time.

    • I know the Catfish show, we get the old episodes here on tv as well. Not to brag, but i'm smarter than most of those tho :D I know how to google search images xD But yea, some people are really well at covering their lies.

      And about stop looking, I haven't looked in 4-5 years, it's only since recent that i started making some life changes (got out more, lost weight, started playing guitar etc) that i kept my eye out again.

    • Truly, it's when you are bust being yourself (looks like you're doing the same as me, losing weight, picking up a hobby and getting out more) that you find someone who catches your eye. My boyfriend was absolutely not looking for love because he just got out of a terrible relationship, and the same with me. we hung out because we had things in common, and both of us were being ourselves, without thinking of love. I think it's because of that that we ended up in love by the end of the day. most people look to hard, when really, if you are in your own little world and doing your own thing, someone comes along and says 'hey, I like what you've got going on in your little bubble, lets hang out'. more often than not, I've seen it turn into a relationship.

  • Yeah, it's not worth it to me. Honestly most girls only go on it for an ego boost to see how many guys want them or think they are attractive. I admit to doing it a couple times myself but I mostly do it because I'm bored and like looking at pictures of hot guys.

  • Online is the worst place to meet people. Don't go there unless you have no other options. If you are in college, school or have work friends or go to church or do volunteer work - ALL of these places are better than meeting girls online.

  • I think you should try it out. I know a bunch of people that it worked for. Online dating isn't as bad as people make it out to be.

  • I wouldn't date online to be honest. It's an unnatural way to meet and it keeps you from meeting great people. I'm not saying don't do it but you should also go out and meet people rather than relying on your phone or laptop.

  • I been heard no much cases that sucess in these both have to agree they are looking for the same thing , most of the time people join they don't even know what they are into , what they look for , I mean I been tryin to many dating site no guys seem interesting to even get to know him , or attractive at all , sometimes they only lookin for sex chat : and girl for attention


What Guys Said 0

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