Basically, he'll be super nice and flirty with me one moment (like play shoving, calling me adorable, offering a hug) and then the next, he's saying how hot other girls are in front of me (when he honestly 100% knows that hurts me) and calling me ugly and retarded in a group chat we're both in. Why is he doing this? It absolutely crushes me.
Most Helpful Guy
He's a manipulative loser. Even though he's not getting you to do anything, he is destroying your morale. If you stay with him, you will feel miserable but at the same time he's being nice so that you would feel comfortable around him.
Meaning, he is slowly pushing your limits so that you will be more dependent on him emotionally. He both degrades and builds you up. It's a psychological thing. People used to do that to animals before the animal abuse laws; they would take a mischievous sheep, break its leg and then bandage it up and take care of it so that it'll grow attached and become obedient to the shepherd.
He might not be doing all of it deliberately, but he definitely has an evil motive behind what he's doing. He's degrading you so it'll be hard for you to leave him. Don't believe what he says, and let him know that if he doesn't get his act together and start respecting you then you will dump him. If he doesn't change and you remain with him, you will in fact be miserable.2