How do I tell him I just want to be friends?

I went on a date with this guy and it went terrible. We were making small talk the whole time, he didn't even hold my hand during the movie and I gave him three chances to kiss me and he took none of them, but he still messaged me afterwards about how he had an amazing time and wanted to do it again 'sometime'. HE doesn't EVEN KNOW HOW HORRIBLE IT WENT? So how should I tell him and what should I say? I just wanna be friends? The date went horrible and I don't want to do it again? Hahaha
Nah seriously what do I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok ignoring you offering your mouth too readily, just say either:

    I don't want to date you but I'm OK with friends


    I'm not interested in meeting up again (more final)

    It sounds like you were desperate for a kiss. Maybe next time just tell him... Be it another guy "kiss me".

    Thing is. .. If you had kissed would you feel worse now? Hehe..


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What Guys Said 4

  • Maybe the guy was just trying to be respectful (to you as a woman) on the first date. Not every girl wants to kiss on the first date. So a guy can't assume that she does and just know to do it. And as for making good small talk, if you were focused on the negative parts like that, you probably make it impossible for him to make any other type of conversation. I takes 2 people to have a conversation. If he's trying to talk to you and you're being short and acting uninterested, then he's gonna get nervous and only be able to make small talk. A date is supposed to be 2 people going out and familiarizing themselves with each other, just because he didn't kiss you on the first date, or hold your hand during the movie shouldn't run you off. A movie is a terrible idea for a first date anyways, you can't talk during a movie and the whole point of a date is to talk and get to know one another. You have to get to a point to where you're both somewhat comfortable, and start actually conversing. You're both going to be nervous, and if you go and sit at a movie together, after you barely had time to talk, he's gonna be sitting there wondering if he SHOULD hold your hand, or kiss you, and probably decided not to because he didn't want to make YOU uncomfortable, or make a move too soon out of respect for you. And you're going to friend zone the guy for it. And probably make it even harder for him to take girls on dates from now on, because you turned him down when he thought nothing was wrong. If you genuinely don't like the guy... at least give him an explanation as to why you're turning him down. That way you don't give the poor bastard a complex lol.

    • It wasn't just these reasons that It wasn't a good date. I'm not that stupid, I'm aware that he might have been nervous or maybe he wanted to respect me. He also decided to tell me how disgusting gays and smoking was, even though he knew both my sisters are lesbians and I had just told him five minutes earlier i loved the smell of smoke because it reminded me of my family in the UK because they all smoke. He carried on about both topics for 10 minutes.

    • So after these lovely conversations I realised he was definitely not the guy for me.

  • Very difficult because he is a very young guy with little experience.
    Be careful because in 5 years he could be a different and much more desirable man. Never write off a young guy because he is shy and inexperienced.
    So I would suggest you are honest and just say that you don't think it went so well at this time and maybe you should take a bit of time with other people.
    Who knows what the future holds?

  • Just say something like "(his name) I think you're a really cool guy, but I just don't feel any romantic chemistry. If you want to hang out again, it will be strictly as friends - but I understand if you need to move on completely"

  • Explain what were the three chances that you let him to kiss you?
    I'm more interested in this part

    • okay, three times I was leaned right next to him, I looked up at him and he looked down at me. Then we smiled at each other... then he would turn away and continue watching the movie. On the third time I even l even looked down to his lips, looked back into his eyes and leaned in a little bit, but he still did the same thing. This guy has no sense of the complete obvious.

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