Why has dating become so difficult?

People seem to have more hidden agendas, they lie, cheat and fake emotions to get what they want in a relationship (both genders)

Why are people like this? It makes dating so hard and frustrating! Every time I feel as though this might be going somewhere, guys true intentions come out as players, jerks and liars and its disheartening.

My trust issues are sky high atm after my last relationship and to get back into the dating game just doesn't seem worth it anymore.

Do people feel the same?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Many people don't value commitment while they value sexuality, and they actually do value sexuality without commitment. Add a spice of gender segregation (aka, keeping the two sexes apart at earlier ages to "make sure they don't do icky things before they are ready" or something) and some gender stereotypes, and voila you have a perfect recipe for dehumanization in which case you can do anything you want with the opposite gender without ever having to think about what they feel because "nobody understands women anyways".

    • What you've wrote is so depressingly honest! I see where you're coming from! Ah are we doomed?

    • You need to find exceptions, that's all

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Multiple reasons, I think.

    1. Too much online stuff. It gives the impression that dating has limitless options, like renting dvd's. Makes things worse for both sexe, s I think.

    2. The system is not set up to help people become social/meet members of the opposite sex.

    3. The current system is bringing out the worst in both sexes. For example. Boys are told to be nice and respectful to girls, while girls are encouraged to have fun and date whoever turns them on. So the girls get turned on by jerks/players... then the guys who were brought up to be sweet good guys see that, decide to quit playing a losing game, and do what works, so they try to become players too... then girls end up getting burnt by player after player, developing "bitch shields" and ending up like that song "If I ever fell in love, i think I'd have a heart attack!"

  • Dating has always been difficult and more so in modern society due to technological advancements. People are too busy about town glued to their smartphones, headphones and tablets.

    Then there's the fact that most people seem to suffer from crippling insecurity issues, social awkwardness, shyness. Then there's confusion about roles within the dating game. Men don't know what their role is and women want new roles and traditional roles combined into one. Then there's players and then there's people who go around playing hard to get and stupid games and then you get women who spread their legs too early and then whinge about getting played.

    If it wasn't all so fucking stupid it would be tragic, but I have to confess to finding it very, very amusing to say the least.

    • Ha! That's quite a hilarious answer! I totally agree with most of it. It's like people don't know what they want anymore so try their hand at everything?

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    • Great minds often think a like (or so I'm told).

    • Yeah I'm told that too! Ha!

  • honestly in my opinion girls also made it tougher, i had few situations where girls refused to give their number but yet want to be in touch but hard to communicate , and i had to stop asking phone number for other girls too even though they would likely to ask their number, some girls have sunk my confidence low, i don't have much guts to ask phone number

    • So annoying isn't it? Why can't everyone just be honest?

    • honest is pretty much non-existent in society

  • I haven't dated much, but I've noticed how even the most honest girls become liars to get what they want. Most people even lie to themselves, so don't take it personally.

    • Get what they want how?

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    • How awful! That's really low of her! A guy tried to buy me into bed with dinner, drinks and gifts-when I said no I'm not sleeping with you so soon (our second date) he ended it because he didn't get what he wanted! Some people make you dislike people!

    • I know the type of guys that do that. I always enjoy watching them get turned down.

  • I agree. I think gender dynamics are much more complicated than they used to be. There's more animosity between men and women, and less trust. I have my theories about why that is but I usually just get called a misogynist for sharing them so I'll pass.

    • No please share, I think everyone's thoughts and opinions are equally important.

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    • I'm not disagreeing with you about how it should be. I'm just stating why I believe it is the way it is.

    • And I think it's inaccurate to say there are plenty of willing girls who want a hook up. For most guys, if they are honest about just wanting a hookup their chances of getting laid are pretty slim. The bottom line is that what men and women want often conflicts, which means if one person gets what they want then the other person doesn't. Honesty sounds great in theory but it stacks the deck strongly in favor of women interests, not men's. I know that seems harsh, but it's the reality of it. I think the best we can hope for is for men and women to start giving a fuck about each other again, cause right now they mostly don't.

What Girls Said 1

  • I get what you mean. A lot of people are just bad so you kinda just have the weave through it and hope that one day you'll meet a guy that won't hurt you. My ex was abusive and my other was a complete liar and it hurts but Its easy to get over.

    • How is it easy to get over?

    • Because they aren't worth your pain and tears. They never were to begin with so you should just move on and be happy or it'll eat you up inside. Moving on is a process though and you don't need another guy to do it. Usually spending time with family helps me. Most people say friends but friends can be selfish and your family will be the only people you genuinely care about your happiness plus they know what makes you happy.

    • You're so right!