I'm in love with my female best friend, I've told her that I like her, and now she has a boyfriend. Help me stay sane?

In college, I met this girl who is obviously in my opinion the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. As we got to know each other, I learned she was single and I began to have feelings for her. A couple years ago, I decided to ask her out to dinner as a romantic gesture. Before I could ask her, I overheard a girl asking her where her boyfriend was taking her out that weekend. It turns out that the boy she broke up with and her got back together a couple weeks before. I was so bummed. Regardless, our friendship continued as normal and it was very hard for me to not flirt with her. Several months later, we graduate and she is in grad school two states away from me. Her boyfriend found a job near her grad school.

Over the next several months, she and her boyfriend had a falling out mainly because he was being a huge dick. The break up was devastating for her and I spent many hours trying to comfort her by telling she's a great girl, etc. I felt bad that she was feeling sad but hopeful that maybe I could have my chance. After several months, now that she's single, I began flirting with her. One day it became too much for me and I admitted to her that I liked her. She said that she'd prefer to have a relationship where the guy is physically present with her and not two states away. I was bummed but not out of hope.

Recently, she starts dating another guy (who is in another state wtf). I was seriously hurt and I shared my pain with her, hoping she'd say something to comfort me back. She said she was uncomfortable talking about how I should get over her which made me even more hurt, considering I used to talk to her about her finding another guy, even though it hurt me to do that.

Now I know I have no chance. I'm a guy, I don't cry very often, and I did shed several tears over this. How do I get over her? Especially when she can't step out of her own comfort zone to help me feel better when I did it for her?

This isn't really an update but I won't be surprised if anyone says that I've been in the friend zone for a long time.


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What Girls Said 1

  • She is not that into you. She doesn't consider you anything more than a confidence booster. You need to let her go. I know that it's very hard but you just need to. If you remain in touch with her, you will have a more difficult time getting over her. Therefore delete her phone number, email address, remove her from Facebook or Skype etc. You don't need to explain yourself to her anymore.
    Get out of the house right now and meet up with your friends or your relatives. Flirt with other girls and spend some time doing the things you enjoy.
    It may take some time but you will eventually get over her.

    • I appreciate your help :) and I promise I'll try. But I do want to ask you, was I being too needy about her? I will admit for all the times I've flirted with her she has tactfully never flirted back. We used to text quite often but whenever we'd talk on the phone, I'd always be the one to call. So just so I know in the event of a future prospect, was I acting too needy?

      Also, during the conversation in which she told me that discussing my pain is an uncomfortable topic for her, she said that I am one of her best friends and that she hopes our friendship will not end. And that haunts me. How do I get over this and still maintain the feeling that I don't need to explain myself to her anymore?

    • You were coming too strong on her, yes. And she probably never thought of you as anything more than a friend.
      Why do you feel the need to explain yourself to her? Do yourself a favor and stop putting pussy on pedestal. Stop fawning over her while she is sleeping with someone else. You deserve more than that.

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