Am I being played for a fool?

I have been seeing this guy for about 6 weeks now and I want to tell the world about it as I have fallen for him. However, he is very low key about the whole thing and doesn't acknowledge anything publicly which is difficult for me.

I tag him on photos on Instagram and stuff like that but I never get anything like that back. It's under the radar and he says it's because nobody else needs to know our business. I sorta get the social media angle but I do want people to know that we are at least together. Our friends and family know. Everything is just hinted at

However, he says its all very casual. I even found him following some random girls on instagram but he doesn't follow me. He is all loving and romantic when we see each other but we do live quite a distance apart and I do have a young family and a divorce behind me. He doesn't have any ties or kids. Am I making a mistake by putting this all out there? Should I take my foot off the gas and just see what happens? I really, really like this guy and he knows that but he always manages to sweet talk me round to his way of thinking.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly think he may be playing you. I was fine till you got to the part of he doesn't follow you but he follows other girls. That's just a red flag to me. But have you met any of his friends or family? Or does only your friends and family know? What does he say to sweet talk you around that y'all are good?

    • Thanks. We have been friends for 8 years now so I already know the majority of his friends/family and vice versa. I think he tells me what I want to hear - that he wants something but lets just see how it goes for now. He buys me nice gifts but he doesn't spend a lot of time with me due to the long distance thing and my kids. At the end of the day its just money that he's spending but I want an emotional commitment from him too. I honestly don't know what he gets up to when we are apart and that's for the majority of the week. I think I should let this one go but I have fallen for him so it will be hard. He is charming and romantic but I need someone that can commit to me and my family really. It really shocked and hurt me when I saw him following some randoms on his insta but I didn't ask him about it. I think I might be just another number in some respects.

    • Yeah that's how I would see it. Tell him you have a family and this isn't a game. Lol. Tell him you don't want his money, you want a commitment. Cause he is kind of being disrespectful, he is treating you like a object.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He's playing you and playing the field at the same time.

    If a guy wants to be with a girl, he'll make sure people know of you, even if he is fiercely private.

    If a guy is keeping you under wraps, keeping everything low key and isn't showing signs of solid commitment to you, then he only wants you for one thing or he's keeping you as a back up option so when things go south on the playing the field front he has a 'safety net' to fall back on.

    • Thanks. It breaks my heart to read that but I think I know it's the truth. Now I just have to accept it. Every time I've tried putting it out there I get nothing from him to show that we are together. I think the term casual is quite literal in this situation. I have allowed myself to hope for more when I should have been wiser in the beginning.

    • I wouldn't be too harsh on yourself, you've developed feelings for a guy and that's natural, it's nothing to be ashamed of and some people are master manipulators, master at lying and deceiving people and they abuse the trust and kindness of good people to their own advantage.

      All you can is give a person the benefit of the doubt, just make sure you cut this man out of your life if you aren't happy with the current arrangement and don't be fooled into thinking you can tame him and change him.

What Girls Said 1

  • Let me just ask you this. If you, your friends and your family knows, who cares if it's on social media? Why does it bother you? Some people are more private when it comes to that stuff. I personally don't like putting too much out there either.

    • Thanks. For me its a way of acknowledging that we are together and he doesn't acknowledge it at all. He's a good looking guy and I want people to know that he's taken. However, what really bothers me is the long distance and the casual bit of it all. He does have a rep as a player too. Also, he has no ties and I have a young family to consider. As I am typing this, I think I am talking my own self out of it !! So confused by it all really.

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