The manipulation is what needs to stop in the context of dating and romantic relationships?

It's what is causing this "man vs woman" mentality on the internet at the least. The idea that you have to trick the other person and play emotional games with them of, "I will just get him or her to like me more than I like him or her so I have more power!" often times to manipulate the other for sex, attention, and/or money. Other times, it's used as a means to keep the other as a backup so they feel more secure that they have that other person at the least if they don't find anyone else or it doesn't work out with someone else. This is where people will string others along either during the dating phase or post-breakup, by giving the other just enough affection to keep them interested, yet another form of manipulation. Getting into a relationship with someone that you know isn't the right person (not even "not sure" which is forgivable, but you "know") just to satisfy your insecurity for the duration you can't find someone else is also another form of manipulation.

This is what's ruining dating in the modern era. This is why there are so many "mixed signals", "getting led on", etc stories and all these tactics and rules people have made up. Not to mention, again, this "man vs woman" mentality as if this is some sort of emotional game.

At best, if you don't have negative intentions behind your manipulation and are simply employing such methods because you believe that's the way to get into a relationship with them, if you are successful, you will end up attracting the wrong person because if he or she was right, you shouldn't have to employ these "tactics" to "win them over". In other words, you wouldn't have to modify your behavior in such a way to "get with them".

So there's no use! We [society] need to stop being so manipulative and start being true to ourselves and the person in question and stop treating this as if it's a game.

You don't play games to make friends, so don't play games to "make" significant others.

This is not a question, but rather a mini-speech about why I believe dating has deteriorated to its current state, partly because knowing the problem is the first step to finding the solution.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yep, people's insecurity and egos nowadays makes dating way harder than it should be.


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