Is she messing me around or is she just confused about her feelings?

Dated this girl for about 2 months. Met a couple of times and had sex on my second meeting with her. It was my first time. After that we had an argument and we fell out. She said she doesn't want to date me anymore. I kept texting her for a few weeks and tried to get her back but she didn't really seem to care. She eventually talked to me and said I'm too 'clingy and emotional' and she doesn't like me anymore. After that I gave up and didn't contact her for four days. On the 5th day I got her message at 2 at night saying she wanted to talk to me. I was awake so I replied and she started telling me how she missed me and told me about the problems she was having with her friends, at uni etc. And after talking to me she said she felt better. Then a couple of days later, she started ignoring me again. I sent her a long message saying she needs to stop playing these games and using me as her emotional support. After that she blocked me everywhere. Then I messaged her from a different number and asked her to tell me to F OFF if she's done with me for good. And she told me to F OFF. Then a couple of weeks later, I sent her message and that's everything I mentioned: Said sorry about everything, told her I didn't want things to end this way because we used to be very close, told her I love her and ended it with saying if she's ever feeling down then she can talk to me. After 2 days of that message, she unblocked me and sent me a message saying she was listening to a song and it reminded her of me. And then we started talking again. I told her I thought she'd never talk to me again and she said "I dont know if it's a good idea but I didn't want you to think I hate you".

She says I'm different from all the other guys she dated cos everyone else just wanted sex and I'm the only one she knows for a short time but trusts enough to tell me everything.
She isn't the type of person to lead someone on or to play games but what's going on in her mind? Should I minimize contact?


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  • Don't think "she's isn't the type of person to lead you on". What could be happening is she kind of likes you. Likes you to be there for her. But she doesn't respect you or your feelings. Tell her you want her to be serious about you two. That you want a relationship not just to be her pussy ass therapists she goes to when she needs support. But I understand what it's like man. I'm going through something very similar.

    • But she said to me a few times that if she saw me again that would be giving me false hope and leading me on. I did say to her in my last message that "I'm willing to start again only if you want to and I want a relationship" and after that message was when she messaged me back. So I dont know what she wants now. Yeah it sucks to be in a situation like that.

    • It's really hard but I guess the best thing to do is say, relationship or nothing. And mean it. Or you can try friends with benefits but that's tough when there are emotions already there. But just don't act emotional be calm, cool and collected when talking to her, even if she regents it. Go into no contact, maybe that'll drive her into wanting a relationship with you. Maybe she'll realize she needs you. I preach all this but it's even hard for me to practice. Stay strong dude. You aunt alone.

    • I actually tried the no contact rule and it worked! I didn't message her for four days and on the fifth day she came back telling me how she missed me ha. I dont know if it's a good idea now because if I minimize contact this time she might just think I've lost interest? It is hard man. I hope things work out for you with your girl. All the best to you!