Why the sudden silence?

I have been going out with this guy for a while now. Our relationship is a bit complicated, I live about three hours away from him and he has a bit of commitment issues, but until now we actually did a lot of stuff any normal couple would do and we got along great. But now it seems like he is pulling away from me. I know he has a lot of stress since the new semester started ( or so he says), but usually he always finds the time to text me at least once a day. But three days ago, that stopped. The last thing I asked him, was whether he would want to visit me some time, because I was sick and in the same town as him, and I would have liked one or two hours of distraction. He said, he was really busy and he would have to see, whether that was possible. I have to admit that I felt a bit hurt about that, but I still texted back that it was fine and that we would probably see each other again soon. Until then I have not heard from him anymore. I don't really see me doing anything wrong, so I don't get the sudden silence. He is online from time to time, but he does not text me. I don't want to text him either, because I don't want to be annoying or anything, although he always says, I don't annoy him. But if he would care to text me, he would just do it, right? What do you think? Thanks.

Well, I texted him and asked if everything was okay, because I hadn't heard from him in a while and he instantly replied that everything was fine, he just finished studying and he had a lot to organize right now. Not sure what to make of that, though


Most Helpful Guy

  • Right now, I'm in a complicated long distance relationship. Sometimes, I really want to just not talk for a day or two. It's sure as hell not because I don't love my girl. But just because when things get complicated, they get stressful and no one wants to deal with stress.

    Don't get me wrong, we talk our problems out a lot but there are times where it just seems to be hurdle after hurdle and you just need time to step back and come back in and hope things are neutral again. From having a few myself and seeing lots of old people who are married for years, I'm beginning to realize that a relationship is all about giving a piece of yourself to your partner and hoping they return a piece of them self; just as big, to you. You have to be prepared to realize things can never be even and you can't keep a long term tally.

    I'm sorry, I tried to answer your question and I think I started to vent to myself.

    My advice to you is to ask him whats up. Part of your problem seems to be that you don't really know much about whats going on in his world. Think of all the little things that affect you that he might not be aware of, you need to talk to him and learn those things for yourself.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You've already shown your interest and concern by texting him, which is okay. I think now is the time you take it easy, sit back and watch a movie or something in your own free time. If he wants to and/or has time to spent with you, he'll contact you.

    One week that is slightly less engaging in terms of texting doesn't have to mean the end of anything. As he said, the semester has just started and he is occupied. Calm down, and try to enjoy yourself :).

  • As a guy personally it could mean he's seeing another girl but I may be wrong it may be his schedule but still if my girlfriend was sick I would get out of my way to see her every chance I could. The fact that he doesn't text you once he gets out is something I would do it if im losing interest in a girl but im not the type to hurt a girl like that but I can't say that for every guy. If he gets online for a while and doesn't send you a message (you are online also too im guessing) then its obvious he's losing interest in you. Talk to him about how is everything going with him and ask him if he still cares about you because lately it looks like he hasn't gotten out of his way to comfort you wether its by phone call, text or visit. Dont be afraid to ask he said you dont annoy him so whenever he's online send him a message but still him not sending you a message is a sign.. who kknows I may be wrong or right.

    • Normally I would agree and say that he is seeing someone else. But before we started dating, he went through a pretty terrible break up, so he did not even look at any other girl until he met me (then again, he is the one who told me that, so he could be lying). It just seems weird that he would loose interest all of the sudden, because we were texting extensivly before he suddenly stopped. But you could be right.
      So you think I should text him? I don't want to come across needy...

    • Yeah you should text him you need to stop thinking you're coming off as annoying or needy its been 3 days you're worried is all.

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