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Why is it so hard to forget past relationship pain?

So many people who have been hurt in a relationship take steps to protect themselves from it again. What are your tricks? But are they really just preventing you from being fully emotionally available? Do they really work or do they become 'playing the game'
Do you just have to accept that getting hurt is a consiquence of opening yourself up to someone? Should that pain then just remind us that we are capable of loving with such intensity, and of itself is beautiful?
Why is it so hard to forget past relationship pain?
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