How do you get rid of a friends with benefits but just stay friends, And Ask a friend out?

So I have this friends with benefits but I feel like its getting out hand. She seems really clingy. I haven't even initiated contact anymore its always her asking to hang out. I dont want to hurt her feelings.

About a month ago she asked if I could ever see us in a relationship together. and I told her No, that as a gf I would never be able to trust her; because I wouldn't we had a thing in the past and her friends would tell me to be careful because she would cheat, so at that time I broke things off but then we didn't talk for over a year. I also told her that I had feelings for someone else and that at times I still think about my ex even though I haven't talked to her for a few months.

This all started when my ex and I broke up at the end of May. I was feeling lonely and just wanted someone to hang out with. Well at first it worked it got my mind off my ex but eventually I would start thinking about her again.

These days there's this friend that ran into over the summer, and we've been chatting since, nothing serious mostly just through text, Facebook and snapchat. We used to be really close but we stopped talking to each other when we each started dating. Now we are both single and I want to take a shot but 1. I dont want to make it awkward if she's not interested by be asking her out. And 2. How do I break things off with the friends with benefits without hurting her, or making it like last time when we dont talk for over a year?
I dont think it would be fair to either of them to do it at the same time. For example keep the friends with benefits until I know for sure if the other girl would be interested or not.


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  • Man up and give your friends with benefits the boot. You dont want her really in your life and if she is as clingy as you said she is then just cut her out completely but have the decency to tell her why. About this other girls, well normally I would say come out clean but since you dont even have anything going on I would just take it slow and see how it goes "as friends for now". If I were you I would take a time out from dating, sex and everything.. You are juggling with your emotions and women at the same time. It is just going to put you and all others in this circus in a bad spot.

    Give yourself a few weeks and dont use those people because you think you need them to help you with your loneliness. Have you really enjoyed this emotional rollercoaster so far? I have been in a very similar situation years ago when I had some awful lot of growing up to do. I basically fucked up my Ex, the person I always wanted and someone else less important. Ruined it for everyone, especially myself.

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