He probably isn't really into me?

Hi guys, I was talking to a guy online for a while and finally went on a date last week which was great but he hasn't called/text me. After 4 days I decided to text him which was probably against all dating rules but I don't really follow those stupid rules. Of course he hasn't replied and he probably won't so my question is wasn't he really into me as he seemed to be? Am I not pretty enough? I have a gap between my front teeth that I'm self-conscious about that might have put him off. He seemed to be into his looks and maybe was a bit shallow -a lot people are nowadays. But he seemed so into me on the date and I cannot stop thinking about this.


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What Guys Said 2

  • A lot of guys will seem a lot more interested in you while they are on the date as they hope that they can translate that interest into a physical payoff. Interest levels need to be judged over time, and they really need to be judged in situations where you are not together and situations where you are not physical.

    It may be a physical thing, but I highly doubt it. If you were 'not pretty enough' for him he wouldn't have had the first date. Also keep in mind that it is never a case of being "not pretty enough" in general. It may be a case of not lining up with one guy's particular tastes, but that has no bearing on your actual comparative attractiveness. Guys like different things for different reasons. So dismiss that thought, it's not really relevant.

    Also, don't feel bad about sending a text after 4 days. Nothing wrong with that. It's perfectly reasonable, especially as you would have expected a text from him before then, so a text to him makes sense. His lack of follow-up after the date, and especially after you took the further step of contacting him directly, is a pretty solid indication that he doesn't have a relationship interest in you. He may have some physical interest given his 'seeming' interest during the date, but no follow up means he doesn't have relationship interest.

    Keep in mind that this kind of behaviour can sometimes lead to the guy contacting you when he feels... physical... so if a message comes a week or two later, accompanied by 'sorry, I just got SO busy... but really want to see you again...' there is a very good likelihood that he will seem very 'affectionate' on your date. The only way to know if he is legitimately interested after such a clear sign of 'no interest' would be to keep things non-physical for the first few weeks to see how often he does the 'oh, got too busy again' on you.

    Barring exceptional circumstances, that much delay means no 'dating' interest. Sex interest, maybe, but no dating interest.

    • Wow, thanks for your answer. I guess I kind of figured but wanted to hear from a guy. This dating business is hard! :(

    • You're welcome. Sorry it wasn't more optimistic news.

      And yes, dating can be very hard.

  • Lets see your pix?

    Shallow? All he is good for is friends with benefits or no sex dates. No serious uses.

    There are no date rules, get that notion out of your mind. If he liked you he would be all over you and call you unless a bus hit him and he is in a coma. If you like a guy, go after him. Ask them out, pursue them. Don't sit there pining away. Be aggressive. Good luck!


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