If your gf/bf told you "Its easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission"... how would you respond?

I am 27 y/o professional student in Oklahoma City. I dated a 26 y/o girl in my class for 1.5 years, with the last year being exclusive and healthy. I visited her hometown and met her family, she met my parents, we went on vacations together, and she went to my best-friend's wedding. Even though she wasn't quite ready to say "I love you", I saw it as positive steps in our relationship.

On a random school-night (Tues), I went to ER due to a head injury. I called my GF because I wanted her to be with me. She didn't respond to my multiple calls/texts. Eventually a friend contacted her. She said she couldn't come to the hospital due to a last-second trip to Dallas (3 hrs away). She didn't say when she would be back to Okla City. Medically, everything turned out okay but I became suspicious at my GF's actions, especially since she has always been very open with me.

The next morning, I went to her house to ask her what happened last night. I found a guy sleeping on her couch whom I've never met. She was sleeping in her own bed. She told me she went to a concert in Dallas with the guy and got back late last night. I accused her of trying to hide it from me. She started crying and asked for my forgiveness. She told me the guy is just a friend but later said they had fling and had sex 1x before we were exclusive. She said she wants to be with me but she also wants to be a free-bird. Although I loved her, I told her we shouldn't be together.

After 3 weeks apart, I asked her if she was willing to work things out together. She said no. She said I treated her very well and we have great sex. I asked her why she tried hiding something from me. She said "ITS EASIER TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS THAN FOR PERMISSION" and that I would have a problem if she told me about the concert/guy beforehand. She also said she lies to her mom about going out of town with friends.

To all girls, how do you view this situation? What does she mean when she said that quote?



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What Girls Said 2

  • It just means she will do what she wants to do whatever you think.
    it actually surprise me for the entire long story by the end you just ask what she mean for that quote.
    if you love her , it may hard for you to make it really work.
    if you don't love her anymore , you can do open relationship or friend with benefit

  • It was more important to her that she should be able to go the concert and spend time with that guy, than whether or not you stay with her. That's what it means.

    • Thanks! Do you think it was an excuse to get out of the relationship?

    • No I don't think so.
      I think she still actually wants to be with you, just maybe not as a high priority.

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