What is it to be RELUSIVE?

My boyfriend said last night that he likes to be relusive but I make that difficult. So I asked him if he was serious (not in an angry tone). I said, "oh. Are you being serious babe?" And he didn't answer so I said, "if you are you can say yes..." After a minute or two I rolled over to my own side because I had been scratching his back... Then he turned towards me and held me. Jokingly I pushed his arm lightly and told him to go to his side of the bed and be relusive... He just held me tighter and we fell asleep.

So what is relusive? He calls me everyday. Not me calling him. I text him 1-3 times a day when little things remind me of him. I see him maybe 1-3 times a week depending...

Am I clingly or something?

Reclusive* Excuse me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Reclusive is mainly anti-social, sometimes depressive and can be possessive. It's not really a positive or healthy way to be.
    It's OK if he wants to be that way, as long as he does not want you to also be that way because that is controlling.

    • Well we were laying in bed and I told him I was glad to be back from my work conference because it was just a lot of 'being around people' and that can be exhausting... (I don't live with him)... & then he agreed... Said that being around people is tiresome. & then I quick squeezed him from behind and laughed saying "except you, I always have time bug babe" and he made like a "ugh" noise --- followed by, "I like to be reclusive"... (pause) "and you make that difficult"... A minute went by and I asked if he was serious that I made it difficult... & he didn't answer. Then what is written above happened.

      He doesn't expect me to be the same way... I just don't want to be a nag if that is how he feels you know? & still, he calls everyday and I only see him once - three times a week depending on our schedules.

      Do you think he was just saying he likes to be alone or was he saying that I am constantly around/wanting attention?

    • I think he is happy with you, but sometimes finds socialising a little wearing. I understand what he means if the company of the people you meet is not very interesting. You need to find some activities you like doing together such as bowling, walking, dancing, just so he does not descend into depression or agoraphobia from being inside alone all the time. It is easy to slip into depression.

    • I definitely appreciate your outlook on this situation. It is hard to be me in this relationship because I am trying not to step on toes but don't feel as though it is healthy for me to have to feel that way. One day at a time though... One day at a time.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You mean reclusive? It means he likes to be on his own.


What Girls Said 1

  • Basically, he's saying, he likes to be by himself, however, since you entered the scene, it's difficult for him to be by himself because he wants to be with you.

    • Well that makes sense... I guess I took in a negative sense like he feels obligated to spend time with me?

    • Yeah, I don't think that's what he meant. His actions show that. I think he really likes you, but rather than say this, he went arse about face.