My boyfriend has checked out of our relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for years. He recently got out of the military and while he was in, everything was amazing. We talked daily and he put a real effort into the relationship. We plan on moving closer to eachother and he was a huge help in that by looking for apartments. I told him I was scared things would change once he was out, but he assured that nothing would.
Now that he is out, things have changed. He doesn't talk to be as often and he has even given up on finding us an apartment. I'm supposed to be seeing him this weekend and we have barely talked.
I've tried talking to him about how I feel but he turns it on me saying it's my fault and I don't initiate our conversations enough. I have been trying to work on that but I still feel like he's given up on our relationship. I'm not sure what to do. Any suggestions?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's very, VERY hard to readjust to civilian life. Ask him how's doing with it. I bet he's really struggling and not sure what to do. Before his whole life was very structured and hunting. It's not so much that he isn't into you. He may just be lost in the change.

    Have a talk to him ask him what he needs. Tell him you love him and are there for him. There are programs that make adjustment easier. Find some friends that got out and they can help. Find some Good luck. Ask up yourself how you want to be treated if the situation is reversed. Find some army or navy wives that can relate or help you.


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What Guys Said 2

  • sometimes a long distance relationship can sort of be like living in a romantic movie. two people are missing each other so they really cherish and relish the time they can chat, and then when they are no longer long distance it can be a real adjustment to get used to.

    I think it sounds like you two need to just actively work on your relationship. work on developing the non-long distance aspect of things

  • Sorry to hear of your troubles.

    Maybe because he was in the military he viewed you in a different way. A "grass is always greener on the other side" situation. Maybe you need to ask him if he wants to even be in the relationship, or is he concerned you guys are geting too serious. Judge him not by his words but by his actions


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