What To Do if a Girl is Not Interested/Avoiding/Playing Games with you?

I've been talking with this girl for about 2 months now. Chemistry is at an all time high in the beginning first 2-3 weeks. Then after the 4th or 5th week, her communication level had declined. I expressed my concerns and wanted to know if everything was ok with her. She told me things were good.
So I didn't worry so much. But shortly after a week, she drops the "I don't think things are working out between us because you like to move too fast."
It's true we did move fast and things were pretty much serious in the beginning but her reaction and my reaction didn't seem we were bothered by each other's rate.
So I tried calling and texting her for the first time in 2 weeks when she used that line on me. And I wasn't able to get through to her. I know I was suppose to give her space, but I wanted to see if we still had a chance for one another.
Going back and reading her texts, made me confuse and heartbroken up to this point because I don't know how she turned completely different all of a sudden. I understand she doesn't owe me an explanation but I feel it would help me understand what the issue honestly was. I was always able to get feedback from my previous relationships. But since we weren't even exclusive, I don't think I would even get the time of day from her at this point. What should I do to make her seem interested in me or gain at least some sort of friendship/relationship? OR How can I get the honest feedback/closure I need from her if she's always trying to avoid me or string me along? "Can't talk now, sorry!" "I'll call you later." (but never really does) "Sorry fell asleep." etc.

I'm not obsessed about her at all at this point. I'm obsessed more about the reason (s) why and how I got into this situation.
Some history background information:
- we had sex 3 weeks after we met. And multiple times afterwards until she informed me that we weren't going to work out.
- She has a disease/sickness that doesn't have a cure
- Her lifestyle is considered as a "hippy"


Most Helpful Guy

  • Even though you want answers, you're unlikely to get them from this particular woman (or just get some false, misleading answers). Better not tread that path, and let her go. Walk out of her life with your head held high.

    And I'm surprised she said "YOU move too fast". From your description, i can see that whatever happened was mutual. So that means she too moved as fast as you. And out of the blue she complains that you're 'too fast'. It takes two hands to clap. She really shouldn't be saying it was you alone who moved fast. It appears like she's a hypocrite having double standards.

    And here is something which I have realized from my personal experiences. Its almost impossible to get 'accurate' and 'valid' answers regarding the reason for being rejected/dumped from women. You can only get vague, inaccurate answers which do more harm than good, or won't get any answers at all. You don't need answers anyway, because the woman who accepts you for what you are, is the woman you need to be with. No need to 'change' yourself based on feedback from the women who rejected/dumped you. There would be women who would want to date you for the same reasons the other women rejected/dumped you.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • sorry to break it to you mate but the chances are she's seeing another guy!!

  • I bit she is seen another guy, just forget her and move on, if you continue this you would just get more hurt, don't ever try to force a girl to get interest on you cos when a girl say am not interesting it's mean am not interesting.

  • I know you want an answer/ closure, but let your pride kick in right now. You need to leave this girl alone and give her a chance to miss you. Most likely, if you're ignoring Her, she will reach out. If she doesn't then screw this heartless woman and move on. You shouldn't accept any bs stories, bc that's what it'll most likely be. We don't always get the closure we want from people, but that's life dude.


What Guys Said 2

  • I didn't read anything other than your headline--I don't need to. You need to move on and find a girl who is interested. There are billions of women on the planet, and many of them will be thrilled to meet you. Why spend time worrying about someone who isn't thrilled about you?

    My standard advice: focus on self-improvement, respect yourself, only worry about dating people who are equally interested in you.

    Best of luck ;)

  • Sounds like one of those Miss un loyal types. She has a problem with being real (like most women do) you can never trust her because she's always on the lookout for the "better deal" She probably settled for you until the guy who wasn't paying her any attention suddenly does and then when that happens she will leave you at the drop of a hat.