My parents are making me court!!!?

My parents have really been into 19 kids and counting lately which doesn't serve well on my half. They have now decided that I am allowed to start courting at 18 or 19 the guy has to be to their approval and standards and all dates and or times spent hanging out must be supervised by a family member.. IT'S SUCH A PAIN IN THE BUTT.. I'm 17 years old I'm not going to sleep around or anything.. I have morals. my mom had a discussion with me on why she thinks it's wrong to hold hands.. before getting serious because it is to deep of a connection or something. ALSO as long as I'm under their roof and am their daughter they expect me not to kiss my future boyfriend or something until marriage. LIKE WHAAT I get the sex thing.. they are way to over the top. I'm also going planning on going to a university near by so I'm planning to live at home during my university years to spare the cost of having a home of my own which is an inconvenience.. there is this guy I know he's 19 and he's so nice and cute.. and I think he's interested but I don't think my parents approve.. what do you think?, are they being to strict or fair? what would you do if they were your parents?

  • you agree that courting and supervised visits are fair
    Vote A
  • you think that all of it is to over the top and is not necessary
    Vote B
  • you agree partly but think they could be less strict
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • While I always understand that parents want to protect their children, if you're 17 and have never even held hands, then your parents have done plenty. By being over protective, they actually make you MORE vulnerable to the real world, because they never let you make a MINOR mistake that can help teach you to avoid MAJOR mistakes, and so what happens with over-protected people is that when they are finally on their own, then tend to make MAJOR, life-altering mistakes because they simply don't know better and aren't used to having to protect themselves, because they've always had someone else to do that for them.

    In the real world, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN and it is up to YOU to be smart and to protect yourself, and when you don't, you often get away with it, but every once in a while, something very bad happens. You could get robbed, raped, pregnant, abused (in a relationship), or even killed because you haven't learned to protect yourself and developed those important instincts.

    You will also be tempted to rebel, and rush into a relationship just because you've been denied one all this time. You could give your heart to a guy who likely won't be prepared for anything as serious as a life-long relationship, and when you break up, you will feel devastated (a common feeling when you break up with your first serious relationship). If you've rushed into things and gotten way more serious than it should have been, that will only make it worse.

    So, yes, your parents are doing you no favors by overprotecting you to this degree.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I don't know what that program is or about.

  • Glad my parents never were like that.


What Girls Said 2

  • That's stupid. Tell them their being extremist. Ask them if they held hands, kissed, and maybe even had sex; if they did then tell not to hold you to a higher standard than they hold themselves.
    And if they say "well those guys are Doing it", tell them "great but I'm not those kids, and I'm sorry that your disappointed that I'm not their kids". Your parents are being ridiculous. Explain that you want to have some sort of physical contact in a relationship because it's a way to show your attraction. Also let them know that if you do have sex (because we never know what happens) you'll be safe about it and wear condoms + get on the pill.
    And if that's still a problem with your parents, just keep doing you. You've got a year until they can not longer tell you what to do. They may get upset but I doubt they'll kick you out. Also I'm not sure about your state, but I know that in mine you can get sexual wellness help from a doctor (I. e. Condoms, birth control, etc), and they can't tell your parents unless you say it's okay

  • I would wait till I moved out. They are acting ridiculous and don't want you to grow up. It shouldn't be anyone's business to tell you who to see. You have to be with them or marry them someday, so be with the one you love.