Who is selfish Him of Her?

My best friend has two children, and is a single mother. She has been on her own for 3 years. She met a guy 6 months ago, and they get along really well, she isn't ready to have him fully in her life, because of her children, She wants to get to know him more, and gradually introduce him to the kids Thing is he keeps pressuring her to be more involved in her life, and meet her family and complains he only gets to see her when she has free time from her kids. He even went in the huff for days not speaking to her, because when he asked her if the relationship wasn't going to move forward yet, she told him she wants to take it slow, as she is not ready to have have a full on relationship so soon. He is accusing her of not caring enough about him, and calls her selfish. I think he is the selfish one, because he has no kids and no commitments at all. He says his patience is wearing thin with her. Should he be more patient or should she move forward quicker?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, he should Practice more patience for it isn't easy for someone who has other obligations and baggage to boot to Involve someone else who cannot even Begin to understand how tough it is to raise kids by themselves... this one is already showing his own signs of child pattern here.
    He is being Selfish, pushy, complaining and not compromising one bit. However, I bet my bottom buck if bud were to become one of the family fellows tomorrow, his tune would sure change and perhaps not want to stay long for even the first holiday meal.
    It takes a very special person to be in someone's life who has an already made family. It's easy to Think that everything is peaches and cream until they find out it can be hell in a hand basket... I watched my own sister have to endure it with a second husband, his brew and all.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thank you so much, i agrre with you, she has struggled a long time, on her own, nd has made an effort with him, all she asks for is more patience, she feels pressured, i agree too about what you said about changing his tune, cos family life is hard, she and her kids have been through a lot, i dont think she has to ask herself if har kids are ready for another man in her life, and personally i dont think they are, he also stated that maybe he should look for someone who wants to be more committed, which hurt her feelings

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    • aw thank you for your kind comment, We have been friends since childhood, and i worry about her and her children. she has decided to end the relationship, cos she is going to just concentrate on her children , she finds it difficult at times, and feels like he will be like having a third child to look after,, because he is always going off in the huff when things dont go his way. Thank you again for your great advice!!.

    • Ohh, so very welcome, sweetie, and with a friend like you, she is always to be assured a guardian angel and let no man step in her path that doesn't fit in with this family function that doesn't need to be there.:)) xx

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Both of them are being selfish. He needs to understand she can't risk letting the kids bond with a guy that might not stick around, and she needs to make time for him to make him feel like he is one of the priorities in her life.

    • Thank you, i like your comment

What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like he really really likes her and just wants to be a part of her life and her refusal to let him in more is sending the message that he isn't good enough. I feel for him, I think after six months he should at least be meeting older family and have met the kids in passing. She may be erring too far on the side of caution.

    • ok thank you, fair comment