Confused about the boy? Helppp please, I need your honest opinion?

I've recently started hanging old with an old friend I hadn't since for like 15 years. I wasn't sure at first if they'd just be platonic hang outs, but I'm like 90% certain he does like me, has been very touchy and called me attractive and held my hand. He is funny, sweet, we get on and I feel very comfortable with him.
I've only ever had a few dates and relationships that lasted a few months before, and am not v romantically/sexually experienced. It sounds bad, but part of me thinks I should just get this out of the way a bit with this guy even if we don't end up being together for a long time. Most other guys aren't very forward with me or I cut them off or push them away.
I do like him, but he is not amazing looking at all. But I feel safe and comfortable with him and he is a virgin and never had a gf so I feel less pressured. I'm never sure how *much* I really do like any guy and tend to have a massive guard up and to push people away. I've never been w someone I really liked before.
Since he was my childhood friend, I care a lot about him and don't want to hurt him. He is not very confident and is very vulnerable. He hasn't got any friends where we live and struggles to make any. I don't want to break his heart if I freak out or change my mind and we break up. I can't be just friends with him either because he is massively attached to me. I'm worried he wouldn't deal with it too well if we broke up.
Helllpp. I would be thankful for any advice/input :) ? x


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't force yourself into anything you aren't ready for emotionally. If you don't feel completely committed to him, then don't lead him to believe that you are.
    On the other hand, It doesn't really matter if he is amazing looking. The guy I like at the moment is bald, has super thick glasses, and someone asked him if I was his daughter... (awkward) basically not attractive at all, but we get along so well, so I just allowed myself to enjoy his company, and my feelings for him are getting stronger and stronger. The things I used to find unattractive about him (the baldness and glasses) now make him cuter to me...

    Don't be one of those girls that throws away their soul mate for someone more attractive, but don't be the person who "settles" because you don't want to hurt him. If he likes you then he needs to know the real you, and you should bring your worries to the table. Let him know how you feel, and let him know that you don't want him getting hurt in the end. Put the ball in his court.

    • This is really good advice, thank you. Yeah I know looks shouldn't matter. I thin the main reason I care (sounds stupid I know) but I feel like it is a reflection on my own appearance when the guys who go for me are mostly not amazing looking. Maybe you're right and it's a case of seeing how it goes and being honest with him.
      I suppose if I felt like he liked me less I would feel more comfortable telling him I want to see how I feel before I make any promises. But he acts like he likes me a LOT even though I've only seen him a couple of times.
      I don't know if it's just that I get freaked out if anyone likes me cos I don't understand why they would? I also wonder if it's cos I feel like everyone will leave me in the end so I would rather abandon them then be abandoned and get hurt myself.
      Thank you for writing such a thoughtful and considered response.

    • Thanks for MH! and definitely make sure you are making your decision based on how you feel about him rather than how he feels about you.

    • Thank you I will do! :)

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  • I would go for it! If in the end things don't work out he should understand that you're not comfortable in the relationship anymore. I wouldn't worry too much about breaking his heart. Don't let him make you feel guilty about leaving an uncomfortable situation.

    • Yeah true, I guess I care a lot about him because I known him since we were children so I don't want to ruin that or hurt him. But then I suppose I won't know if we could be happy unless I went for it.