I'm in love with my friend with benefits. Should I confess?

Our relationship is far beyond friends with benefits. We have developed a close emotional connection. He is very emotionally attached to me. He says sex is not the most important part of what we have. We do stuff outside bedroom, we talk on social network or in person every day about everything.
Here is the confusing part. He said we doesn't want relationship 3 times before, but behaves like he is my boyfriend. Recently he wanted me to answer what I think about his personality, what is the value of him to me. He wants to do more for me emotionally, as he thinks he is of barely no use to me. He said I complete the gaps in his life and am very close person to him.
He got mad when I said I went on a date with someone else (I did). Like "If you want to build up a relationship, then you should first stop being with me". Later in the conversation he changed his position and said I can go on dates, but must tell him about it. He will leave if I sleep with someone else. He said he won't search for relationship and won't sleep with anyone else either.
He is overweight and doesn't look that good to other people. I'm quite pretty skinny girl. He knows I get lots of attention from other guys (I mostly ignore it). He sometimes says I'm better than him. He thinks of himself as an "old piece of shit" (exactly what he said), so has low self- esteem. He said he doesn't want relationship because he doesn't think he has enough resources for it, since when he is in one he does everything to that person. But he wants to make me feel the same good as I make him. He hasn't been in relationship for over 2 years, doesn't emotionally open to any people (except m somehow).
I don't care what other people think of him. For me he's amazing. If he has no feelings for me, I'm probably just gonna leave things as they are, as it's better than nothing. I'm scared to confess, as he said he doesn't want relationship. I never told him I really want one.

  • You should confess. He likes you too.
    Vote A
  • He doesn't seem to like you, but you should still confess
    Vote B
  • Better not confess. He doesn't like you. Just move on.
    Vote C
  • Wait for him saying it himself. He likes you.
    Vote D
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
He also once said he likes how things are between us, but he doesn't want anything more. "It's fine between us unless I require relationship".
I just don't see the point of behaving like this when you want nothing. When you just want to keep things going, you don't do that much for your FWB.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He was initially not ok with you going on dates, he doesn't want you to sleep with anyone else. He seems jealous because if 100% all you are is FWB, he wouldn't care that much. Plus, he complimented you and wanted to know how you feel about him basically. It definitely seems like he has some interest in you. Just ask yourself the common what's the worst that could happen? question. He may be saying he doesn't want to be in a relationship but he really does or it could have been because of his self esteem issues. Tell him how you feel about him and reassure him he's a worthy guy and you think he'd be a good boyfriend. If you claim that you're in love with him, then take the chance because it could turn out great.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You have to put him to a test, to see what is the reality and what is just puffery from him.
    He may not know himself when he is being sincere.!

    It sounds as if he has been 'beaten up' in the past in relationships and is frightened and pessimistic.. Knowing someone REALLY LIKES him will do wonders for him.

    But you're right, he might react with fear and run, so be careful how you phrase things. As the woman below said, don't start with anything provocative like the L word! Just tell him you want more than what you have now, but you will give him time to get used to that idea.

    Nearly every relationship has these times, these key nodal moments. He's not so unusual, in his attitude.

    You have a good chance here, but there are never any GUARANTEES of success.


What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, I didn't read what you wrote because your format made it difficult to follow and I'm lazy. Just came here to say if you do choose to confess don't use the word "love" it's scary and intimidating. Just tell him you like him