What makes a guy think that a girl will hook up with him? Is it some type of vibe?

I feel like i meet guys and they try to get me to go home with them and I'm just trying to figure out if I put off some vibe that says "I'm easy". I am totally not that girl and I have to continuously turn guys down but it's like once they know I won't hook up with them, they want nothing more from me. What makes a girl perceived as date able and what makes a guy think, I just want to hook up with her?


Most Helpful Guy

  • "What makes a guy think that a girl will hook up with him?"

    Let's start with that.

    Most guys don't think anything, they hope. Some might say they know, but in the end, until the deed is done, we men are really just trying to take things from one step to the next as smoothly as possible. Some of us perhaps not so smooth-myself included. This is why people call it getting lucky-which I hate, it infers that a man would be lucky to have sex with a women. What the? Because unless you're a model, or Justin Timberlake, sex is never for sure. I don't like it, but I didn't make the rules. So if I talk to a chick, and can keep her engaged, then I know I'm doing somethin' right. If it's tit for tat the whole night, meaning, if everything I'm throwin' her way is reciprocated, then I know I can keep going, and keep leading right up to and including sex. If she backs off, goes and talks to someone else, hangs with her friends for long periods of time without me, talks to other guys, then I know to just get her number and move on.

    Another thing to think about- you're still young. And what is the number one thing young people usually engage or endeavor to engage in? Sex! Now I don't know your history or current outlook, but let me just state for the record that whether or not they are willing to admit it, all men are dogs. We didn't choose to be-so don't judge-it's simply the way we are wired. It's science. Don't take my word for it, look it up.

    So wherever you're hangin', partying, or whatnot, if you talk to guys, they will think you are interested. So if you're not, then don't lead them on. And if sex isn't something you're down with straight out the gate, then you are meeting the wrong men and or hanging at the wrong places if what you've stated above is true and a common occurrence.

    • And why do you have to label the idea of sleeping with a guy you just met as easy? Trust me, it's never easy from our side of things. It's perfectly natural to have sex in a short period of knowing someone. It's just sex. If protection is used, once it's over, what is left? Nothing. What's the big deal? Look, if you're not into one-night stands then fine, but who said there's a timetable here? Don't get me wrong, I don't have a ton of one-nighters under my belt, but when something feels right, I go with it. I don't have any STDs or unplanned children. Just sayin'.

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    • And finally, look, I know it comes down to lifestyle and beliefs, but if you're attracted to a guy, and he seems nice enough, what is the harm in taking things to a physical level? Even if it's in a short time-span. It's not like you have to marry them.

      Bottom line, it sounds like you want a relationship. And good ones are hard to find. I know my response is practically an essay, but believe it or not your question really intrigued me.

    • First off, thank you for being so in depth! This was amazing to read.

      I don't think there is anything wrong with sleeping with a guy on the first meeting, I'd be lying if I said I haven't been there so I'm not judging at all. But I am looking for a relationship at this point and so I feel like of I sleep with a guy the first night then that's all I will ever be, a hookup.
      I think when I really like a guy that I meet I get too excited because believe me, it doesn't happen often where I'm interested in these guys like they are me. So maybe I get too excited and that comes off as too open! So maybe I just need to take a step back and not be so open. It's hard because I am a outgoing and friendly person. Most people tell me I'm a "cool" chick; that I'm always laughing and fun to hang out with. I don't get embarrassed very easily and I'm always myself. I don't want to be anything else cuz either people are gonna love me or hate me so what you see is what you get. Lol

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What Guys Said 1

  • Some guys, no matter what vibe you put out will eventually try to hookup with you. It's them, not you. If EVERY guy is like that, then it's you. Either your attitude or where you are going to meet these guys. Because no girls luck is that bad, unless she is making the same mistakes over and over.

    Other than that. It could be based on how you're dressed. If you're dressed slutty, then guys will treat you how you present yourself. You can dress up nice and look sexy without appearing slutty.

    • Haha ok well you're right, I was a little over the top by saying EVERY guy cuz you're right, not every guy. It just seems like it's the guys I take an interest in. And maybe I'm too flirtatious when I'm showing interest in a guy and maybe that's the problem. I don't ever mention anything like going home with them. But I'm generally a happy person so I will laugh a lot, make stupid jokes or touch their arm when I'm talking to them. I don't feel like i throw myself at guys at all! Just normal flirting. And I don't dress slutty. I'm usually in jeans and a nice top or a dress but nothing that is too revealing. I like to think I'm pretty tasteful.

    • If that's the csse, then dialing back a bit on the flirting some might make the difference. They could be thinking you're way more into them than you are and assume they can score with you because of it

    • So how do I do that if it's just me being myself. I almost feel like i have to not be myself. Lol

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