Should I ask him about this, or just break it off with him?

And how do I do that? Because from his point of view I'm sure it looks like everything's going fine, but it's not.

Here's the thing: I get the sense he doesn't want a relationship, he wants something casual and to get physical quickly, and I don't want that. I don't really want to have sex outside of a relationship. So our pace and views on this are mismatched.

We've been hanging out and going on dates for about three months now, and he's always enthusiastic to see me, but there have been 1-2 week stretches when we didn't see each other, and outside of seeing each other in person about once a week, we aren't in contact much. We don't call each other, and pretty much only text to make plans to hang out.

The one time I tried to bring up like where we're at, he kind of just said I'm over-thinking it and we should just relax and have a good time. Which pretty much answers my question, and not in the way I wanted.

I'm just not sure I want to date him anymore if we're going to continue on like this. Advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes it doesn't seem like a relationship thats he's willing to put in time. Now if he's really busy with life, such as things that take precendatn over a loved one, such as Doctors or Partners of a company. Because these types of life styles the person is generally married to their office. if not that, then its he's not as into you for sure.

    I know when I like a girl, I wanna see her, talk to her, connect with her and make sure she's happy and so am I

    • Thanks! Yeah, that's exactly what I feel like - he doesn't want to put in the time.

    • Sure no Problem

      Remember one thing. I always tell my own friends that are girls this all the time. The situation you described, that he sort of wants to get physical fast and on top of that he's not seeing you very often.

      If you really think about it. When someone makes time for you often is because they sort of 'need' you to make there day better, or 'need' you to brighten up their days and give them that dose of you that carries them strong throughout the day.

      In this case he's slowly realizing that he's not getting sex from you or that its not happening as fast as he would like it. So the desire of making time is just not there. Sad to say, but you as a person, personality and who you are doesn't seem like its enough to make him want to make time.

      dont see it as anything wrong with you OR him. Just see it as its not a match that compliments at each rather its more driven by sexual urges, at least on his part.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You'll always have these issues if you allow it - many guys will have "casual" relationships if you let them get away with it. You can prevent that by being very up-front with EVERY guy, and let them know that you have a policy: you don't have sex outside of an official, committed relationship. Let them know this on the first or (at the very least) second date. And then stand by that decision.

    That way, they can decide whether they should continue in the relationship or not - if they just want casual sex, then it's in both your best interests for them to move on and not drag things out.

    At this point, you need to tell him: "I like you, but I have this policy, and I also have the following concerns:" Then see what he says. That may break you up, or it may fix your concerns and let you have the relationship you really want. Either way, you have your answer.

    • Thanks! I'll do that.

  • Move on girl; GOD has the Wright person for you; you just need to be patient and trust He will bring him to you.


What Girls Said 1

  • I always ask guys what are their intentions of talking to me. Everyone has something they want, even if it's subconsciously, and I don't think its "over thinking" to want an idea of where things are going. No one wants their time wasted or feelings hurt. You should consider asking him that.

    • Thanks. I just wish it was easier to bring up. What do you usually say, like how do you phrase it?

    • Show All
    • Ok, that helps. Thanks!

    • No prob :) good luck!