My boyfriend and I took a 3 month separation this year, and during the time he slept with someone else. We got into a fight about it recently, and I found out more than I wanted to know (ex. sex details). I'm really having a hard time coping with it. I don't want to break up because it's his past. On my end, i'm really suffering emotionally/mentally from it, and it makes me feel disgusted of him.
How does everyone cope with it? Are there some different approaches to thinking of it that can help me forget it?
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Separations usually means one or the other has found a significant flaw in going further into a permanent life bond. During this period, all bets/deals are OFF if not married. Thus I agree - it's his past.
1. Also believe that separation is a time to scratch that itch that might be a hurtle or rethinking through experimentation if one made the right life choices. It's best to believe this is now over.
2. Your being disgusted - suggests one of the roots to the problem (s) that led to the separation might be contrary views on sex, however minor or few. He didn't find it disgusting, you did... how are the two of you going to compromise rest of life? It appears YOU will have to bend a bit more b/c he was willing to scratch that itch when the opportunity arose.
3. You have a history as well that he must dismiss. Even if it's pure as the driven snow, THAT could be the problem he has = not dirty enough thinking, acting, needy for. Odd thinking? Don't judge, just work the problem.
4. The only thing left addressed is... whether all this can be buried with assurances another separation doesn't present more sex opportunities later that are more crushing than this. This will take one-on-one compromises, deals and love to mold these two into one love partnership that fully satisfies both. ARE both of you willing to satisfy the other... without being disgusted?0