How to find a good girl... Am I just crazy?

Hi, for most of my early life I had "mental / social" issues brought on by bad parenting (and medications that I did not want) which over time caused me to become an introvert / nerd / etc.

I didn't bother even looking for a girlfriend because I knew even if i got one I probably couldn't keep her as my interests are very uncommon in girls (I am a gamer, I like mostly indoor activities etc)

My few experiences with girls have been overall "enjoyable at the time" but were usually rollercoasters. While I would usually consider myself the "weird" person in any given group It makes sense to assume it was me causing these relationships to go bad, but overtime I realized these girls were just crazy... Am I a crazy girl magnet?

Anyway probably too "wall of text" for most, but my question is: How can a nerd like myself (My job, Hobby and Goals all involve computers) find and KEEP a girlfriend? (No I am not fat or ugly). I have met a couple girls in person which never went too far, and several online, only one of which I even got to meet in person. Every time they usually end up becoming "bipolar" as in: "Oh baby I love you so much!" Next day: "My life sucks, I want to die, I don't know if I love you..."


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have probably heard this more times than you want or care to remember but you will find the right girl some day. I won't sugar coat it like most people seem to try to do. You are just very in a very unfortunate position when it comes to meeting girls and I am in the same category as you. There are two main reasons why things are difficult. One of the reasons is that most guys out there have more tolerance for the "bipolarism" that you described. Level headed individuals like us realize that girls are human beings too and should have be able to control their emotions once they start to get out of hand, just as their male counterparts do. Unfortunately most guys are so desperate for pussy that they usually just deal with it and accept that sort of behavior as "girl behavior." Another reason is that the "good girls" that you mentioned are very well sought after girls by every guy, including the ones I just mentioned. Most guys would prefer one of the "good girls" but they'll settle for the bipolar ones if they can't find one. My point is, it's gonna be hard and it will take a while but you will find the right girl some day. It took years before I met a girl who I love and who loves me. I know this may not be shedding help directly on your situation but I hope that it at least changes your mindset toward it. Good luck.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Why don't you study Computer I mean as an engineer?

    Dude all girls are like that specially if they aren't interest on the guy some girls looking for just : night date or one night You know there is nothing wrong with you, you need just to know how to shows a girl, girls from night clubs aren't your style if your looking for long term relationship, online dating is kinda mmm let's say hard and crazy :/ you need to try to meet girls out of computers or night clubs :/ go to some interest place like parks or library :/ there is girls there and dude stop making your life circularly in computers --"

    • You are right about the clubs. I avoid going to those because I know I won't meet girls like me there as that's not the kinda thing I normally do, going outside is boring thoughhhh :( And cold :P

      Also I do study computers, I am a web developer.

    • Show All
    • Actually you will have to send me, your private :P

    • @Asker Okay wait :3

  • Just gotta find a girl with the same interests as you, it is possible but not easy. You could set up a few internet dating profiles and try that way or go to a few hobby groups and meet girls there, it's not really something you can cause to happen-it just happens.

    • Unfortunately gamer girls are in high demand and always taken... It is probably 100x harder to find a girl gamer as a guy as the female counterpart... :(

    • A fair few girls play video games though, i do for instance, you just gotta keep looking.

  • I can relate with you as well, considering the fact that you are a guy, you might have it easy than I do. I love mostly indoor activities too, also a bookworm. However I learnt that staying in doors will seclude you from meeting interesting people. So I would advise you go out more and socialise.


What Guys Said 1

  • To find one that might be interested in dating... Is there a way to find a geeky girl? I know, depending on your area, that's much easier said than done, but that might be your best bet.

    I'm a HUGE geek; gamer, artist, performer; I'm into science fiction, horror, etc... but I live in an area where no one seems into ANY of that (in spite of the amount of engineers and I. T people we seem to have around here) for me it's gong to be an uphill battle, but I do know the biggest hurdle (just not how to really solve it)

    As for how to keep one (that has a brain in her head), it's something like: Don't be a total jerk (don't cheat, lie, sell drugs, etc), but don't be a total wimp. Have plenty of interests and passions besides your girlfriend. Have ambition. Be able to say "no." Be interesting, talk about cool stuff. Even then, depending on who you are with, that won't always be enough. Just keep doing cool stuff, and eventually they might come around, and maybe a few will be worth putting in the amount of commitment for it to be a success.

    Good luck.

    • Yeah dude this is exactly what I've been thinking. And I have treated all the girls I've met with respect, surprisingly a girl has never just "lost interest" in me... It has pretty much exclusively been them going crazy bipolar mode and me not being able to handle it.

    • But yea I guess the search just must go on! Good luck to you as well my friend!