Does not having a college degree have a stigma with dating? Should I move to a larger city and leave the college town?

So I recently have been trying to go back to school and make something out of myself academically... but I just seem to be one of those people that can't ever seem to stay focused academically. This is like my fourth time going back to college, and already after my first semester I am feeling like I am snapping under pressure. i have been giving a lot of thought and I think I might just be happier working full time at the grocery store I am working at part time... so I am certainly leaning that way.

Anyways the question is this... should I move? Right now I live in a college town full of college kids. I won't be the type of person that gets a college degree, but I want to find someone to start a family with. I feel that many folks in this college town will exclusively have a serious relationship with someone that is also working on a college education. I feel that living here is really hampering my ability to find someone special and I am seriously thinking about possibly moving to a bigger city. Anyone have some thoughts on this? Will not having a college degree have a stigma for me in the long-term relationship field?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You can't work in a grocery store forever.

    What are your goals? What are you going to college for? To me it sounds like you have no motivation to do whatever it is that you're going to school for and that's why you keep quitting. Maybe you should go to school for something like a trade instead and you'll be happier.

    What do you want to be when you grow up? Concentrate on that first and THEN go back to school.

    You might be able to date now while you're young, but what happens when you're ready to get married? Sorry man, but nobody wants to marry a guy that's a manager of a grocery store. What are your long term goals? Do you have any? Do you plan on working there forever? How are you going to support your family? Think about those things.

    You don't necessarily have to have a college degree, but you DO have to have a plan. I have no problem with dating a guy without a degree, but I do have a problem with dating a guy with no ambition.

    Figure out what you want to do with your life first.. then worry about finding a woman to be with you.

    • To be honest, I don't have any huge desire to become anyone special. I have traveled for quite a few years and was a backpacking guide or non-profit worker during that time. I have done a lot of work with kids, and I love them to death. (yet I know I don't want to end up in a classroom teaching them) I would like to go to school and get a degree in Geomatics and eventually become a Land Surveyor... however, a lot of the classes for that major are classes I already know I would have an extremely hard time just getting through. (most of them are just one semester of Physics, computer programming, geology, calculus, etc. These are classes courses I have already attempted taking at other colleges and these are the classes that I just hit a solid wall and couldn't grasp the material well enough to do well on the test.

      I honestly hate the expectation of needing to get a college degree to do something with my life.

    • Show All
    • Your absolutely right on that. I am definitely only holding the grocery job because it pays well. However, I was working at a daycare not to long ago and realized that I ran out of patience with the kids there. I have been giving a lot of thought to going back into work with something involving the outdoors (hence the whole surveying thing) but most decent paying jobs in that field require a degree. However, you have given me something to think about and I really appreciate that. Well looks like it is back to the drawing board again. :P


    • No problem. I'm actually in the same place in my life as you are. I was going to school for electrical engineering and couldn't handle the Calculus and realized that it's not all about the money.

      You'll find the career you're looking for just don't give up!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, I'm sure, if you live in a college town, there is a greater expectation of a college education. And, if you live in a big city, expectations will be more diverse.

    But, I think you need to examine your priorities. Love (and, for that matter, friendship and family and leisure) are all important, but the most important thing in your life is your career, what you work towards, the part of your life that consists of production. That's where you build your self-esteem (and that's why even the very wealthy continue to work, rather than spending all day in leisure). To say "I love you", you must first learn to say "I". In other words, the building of your self-esteem through having a career that you have rationally chosen should precede all your other concerns, even love.

    • @evenlift thanks man, I really needed this. It is crazy I feel like I am a very confident, funny, and smart guy. However, ever since I have been going back to school I have been feeling less and less comfortable with myself. I am usually at my best when I am just working, and I think that is just what I am meant to do. I will definitely finish this semester since I am so far in it; however, I realize now I only went back to college because I felt I needed to. (part of that is from the intense desire to someday have my own family) However, I realize now that I can still have my family and just start working now, while being happy. I am just going to focus on doing work where I feel productive, spending time with quality friends, and enjoying my hobbies. Eventually, I'm sure the right girl will come along, and if I need to move to a large city to help the odds for myself... I will do just that!